JANICE LIVES!!

My morning was clearly not as frustrating as Kellie's, and not nearly as blessed as Smed's.

But I will say that I spend at least 8 hours a day sitting next to someone I believe was the basis for the Janice character on "Friends." When Janice came into the scene, we all laughed, reveled in Chandler's pain. We were blissfully unaware that JANICE ACTUALLY EXISTS.

She lives on your block, she shops at your mall, and yes, she works in the cubicle next to you. She regales you with stories from J-Date, she wows you with photos of Long Island, and of course, she soothes you with the dulcet tones of a laugh that Fran Drescher would be proud of. Her favorite phrases? "Hello, dorkdom!" "Wow, you're pretty low on the cool meter." "Like, like, WHATEVER!"

You remember Janice and Joey's Day of FUN?! Oh yes, that's my day, but on constant loop.

People, I implore you to distract me from this hell.