Why I shouldn't be allowed out of the house

On my way back from my afternoon break, as I attempted to re-enter the building, I tried to push the door open for about 30 seconds until the 5 people behind me were like "uh, i think you should try pulling it." (Yes, I have walked through those doors 3 times a day for the past year).

Then, I put my phone on the metal detector and it somehow got stuck inside the machine, so the 5 people behind me were held up again as the security guard had to use his night stick to push the phone out. And so the same 5 people felt the need to tell me how important it was to tie my shoe so I didn't hurt myself or others.

It was a very difficult and complicated minute and a half.