I love warmth. I constantly and actively seek warmth. I have accumulated along the years an extensive arsenal in my quest to keep my body at or above 98.6 degrees.
I get out my long johns around October. I have been known to wear them for weeks at a time underneath my clothes. Sometimes I wash them. I wear my skiing socks 6 months out of the year, and god knows I am not skiing 6 months out of the year. I have 6 jackets to combat varying levels of chilliness, and I choose said jackets based on daily analyses of various weather websites. The most extreme choice within the jacket hierarchy is a full-length down-filled waterproof parka. It has a hood. I have beaucoups of blankets (yes, some are electric). Drawers full of sweaters, scarfs, hats, and gloves. I really like to be warm.
And I am stepping it up a notch. The next battle in my war on cold is very specific: my arms get cold when I read, yet I become too hot (and lose my reading light) if I completely submerge myself under a blanket. Pete was perceptive about my quandary (he mainly deduced it because I said about 5 times a day, "I wish I had some blanket device to warm my arms while I read.") and invested in my latest warmth-giving product: a slanket. A slanket, if you could not deduce this, is a blanket with sleeves. It looks like this:
Peter says that I am going to look like an insane monk. I say that will only add to the appeal. However, it appears that there is an even more extreme heating product out there: the selk bag. It combines the thickness of a sleeping bag with the form of a jumpsuit. I think I'm in love.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
My Ongoing Love Affair with Warmth
Monday, January 28, 2008
Wonkette reads HON!
Happy State of the Union Day!!!
State of the Union day is my favorite holiday of the year. We lay down some ground rules and we drink ourselves silly as we listen to an hour of Bushspeak. Of course, all the predictable rules apply: terrorism=drink. nuculer (or any other pronunciation) = drink freedom/liberty/democracy=drink.
Each year, though, we try to keep up with the times and spice things up a little. Mathgimp's already established two rules: a) any further mention of human-animal hybrids merits a car bomb and b) we drink whenever the word "bubble" is uttered. I just consulted the good folks at WaPo, and here are a few more:
1) So, what's the big idea starting off your article with the phrase "as he prepares to deliver his seventh and probably final State of the Union address tonight." Is the probably necessary? Really? Can't our long, national nightmare end gracefully in 359 or so days? Any allusion to Bush bringing us State of the Union VIII and we finish the bottle. And move to Canada.
2) Bushie's apparently pissed that many Americans have "already written him off." Any reference to the way history will see him, the historic moment of his presidency, blah blah blah, and we drink.
3) We drink if he promises to solve that whole Mideast peace thing...although they've been quiet about that since the Gaza/Egypt border collapsed.
4) The term "unfinished business."
Leave your ideas in the comments, feel free to come join us if ya want, and Happy State of the Union Day!!!!
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Two amusing sites today...
Seriously, I love metafiliter.
The first is just plain funny. From the page:
"Oh God. Oh dear God in heaven no. Your first instinct will be to repeatedly jab a pinecone in your eyes, but please try to understand Pepsi's mindset. First, they were almost definitely drunk. Secondly, they knew that the internet was in some way related to computers, so the idea was to make their website very evocative of a computer. I'm not convinced they understood what a computer was, but when they closed their eyes and thought about computers, this monstrosity is what popped into their drunken heads."
The second is just plain awesome. No quote, but if you ever liked a video game, give it a click.
Update: Well, not really a new site, per se, but a new spin on one. We've apparently pissed the internet off something fierce....
Saturday, January 26, 2008
This is my life
I show Pete a picture of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, stylized by Annie Lebowitz for a Disney promotion.
Me: "Do you know who that is?"
Peter: "I don't know" He studies the picture. "Aladdin?"
Me: "No, darling. They're celebrities. What celebrities are they?"
Pete: Squints at the picture again. "I don't know. I honestly don't know."
Me: "Peter, that's Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony."
Peter: "Ohhh...ok. Ok. I mean, I don't know. How should I know? You know, I thought for a second it was that man from Pirates and the Caribbean...no, no...not Johnny Depp. The young one. What's his name? You know, Ham Sandwich...[he mumbles names of 4-5 photographers. I don't know why]...is it Freddie Prinze Junior? You know, for a second I was going to guess that the woman was Mariah Carey...Ohhh, ok. Ok. So that's J Lo. That's J Lo? That's the Lo."
Me: Sitting in stunned silence.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Bible Readers Only Slightly Worse at the SAT than Non-Readers
A guy scraped the Facebook lists of top ten favorite books at schools from around the country, then he correlated those with the average SAT/ACT scores for those students. The results [in handy graph form]: the best test takers only like Lolita and 100 Years of Solitude. The worst like Zane (I have no idea what that is, but it looks like it's maybe an erotica/romance author.) Oddly, fans of The Holy Bible (also, Nervous, Farenheit 451, The Color Purple, True to the Game, Flyy Girl, Addicted, and B More Careful) scored lower than those who simply remarked "I Don't Read."
What exactly is "egregious"?
"Nine city employees in the District of Columbia have been fired for using government computers to visit an "egregious" number of pornographic Web sites in 2007."
My vote is 42. [pc world]
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Superpowers come next...
This is really freaking cool. Or scary, as she may become an unstoppable killing machine next. It's really 50/50 either way.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
What does Jesus do?
Three of my friends from Austin started a website documenting Jesus' daily life. It's pretty hysterical and sure to piss off the religious extremists in your life. Here's the blurb: "Check it...Jesus is sick of all the bullshit. Christmas is not his birthday...he doesn’t hate fags...oh yeah, and he’s black. We of team jesus productions (tjpro) have been hired to document his daily life in an effort to show you…the people…what Jesus does."
Here's the link. Spread the love.