I was going to write an analysis of media construction of the legitimacy of presidential candidates through the projection of objectivity. It's been on my mind lately. But that sounded like a lot of work for something no one would read.
On the other hand, a bunch of you seemed interested in the Officer Larry and Officer Bob saga, and there are some updates on that below the jump.
I came to work yesterday mentally prepared to embrace the advice of Barzelay and demand that Officer Bob either ignore me or come up with new morning jokes. When I got here, he was positively beaming, which threw me off my game. "He's back!" Half asleep me thought "Who's back? Voldemort? WTF is happening?" Bob continued: "Officer Larry's back! You must have let him out of the basement!" I was struck by how happy and genuinely relieved this man looked, so early in the morning on a Monday. I think he really missed Larry, which is strange but fine.
"That's great!" I replied. I smiled, kept walking, and left him to whatever reunion festivities he had planned. I figured we'd have time later to resolve our last remaining point of contention: Larry was never in my basement. Not ever.
On the way to the elevator, a woman I'd never seen before rushed to catch up with me. "How did you do that?" She asked. I was, for the second time in 30 seconds, completely baffled. "Do what?" I asked. "He was just nice to you. How did you get him to talk? He's a fuckin asshole to everyone else. All the rest of the guards are fine, but that guy just sucks."
Hmmm. Apparently, inane repetitive jokes are nothing short of a declaration of love from Bob. And I would certainly prefer that relationship to blistering hatred. Besides, it seems to me that Bob is lost and alone without Larry, and needs someone to share that with. I suppose that can be me.
Today, I came back from lunch sweaty and flushed and running late (it's like 100 degrees outside, and somehow I managed to get lost). Lo and behold, there was Larry, but no Bob. "Hey, sweetheart! It's been way too long! How ya doin? You sure look cute today!" he says (it's nice to hear, especially when it's a lie). We chatted for a few minutes, and then he says "Hey-is that boyfriend of yours still treatin you right?" Dammit. "You let me know when you break his heart -- I'm next in line." Dammit.
Stupid fake boyfriend. Stupid Officer Bob and his emotional issues. Stupid Officer Larry being back. Oh well. I shouldn't date people from work, especially those who carry guns and can deny me access to the building. But still.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
The ongoing saga of Larry and Bob
Monday, July 30, 2007
Edward Gorey
Have you guys seen The Gashlycrumb Tinies by Edward Gorey? It's a somewhat unique way to teach children the alphabet.
For example: 
G is for George smothered under a rug.
G es por George asfixiado bajo una alfombra.
Pretty amazing. You should read the whole thing.
Pirate pick up lines
Are hilarious.
Found here.
I must be huntin' treasure, 'cause I'm diggin' yer chest.
You're just the tasty wench I've been keeping me eye out for!
Hey, sexy -- how about a Jolly Rogering?
Ya certainly put the shiver in me timber.
See this hook? Variable speed with five alternate attachments, Baby.
WOW! I bet we could fit SIXteen men on that chest!
Me skull and crossbones arn't the only thing I plan on raisin' tonight.
Do ya' mind if the parrot watches?
Nice poop deck on ya, lassie. Care fer a swabbin'?
Avast, me pretty! Strike your panties and prepare to be boarded.
So you're the new cabin boy, eh?
Do you have the latest copy of Windows XP with cracked product activation? (software pirates only)
Yo, ho! Bottle of rum?
Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrre you free on Saturday?
Is there an 'X' on the seat of your pants? Because it appears that there's wond'rous booty buried underneath!
Making up words
The Brits do a lot of things better than us - their politicans invent words like "bemerded," we get "nucular." I'm going to try to get my hands on Foyle’s Philavery: A Treasury of Unusual Words (Amazon doesn't seem to have it). Until then, this book review is a fun introduction to some of the awesome words Foyle finds - check it out.
Pete's awesome
Pete made the NY Times! (Again)
You can find the pictures here:
Although I don't know how long that link will last.
And he also got mentioned in the Huffington Post.
If you would like to search the interweb for more of Pete's amazing pictures, his full name is Peter Van Agtmael.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Addendum: Life's more interesting than I give it credit for.
I wrote the last post, then went for a walk through the park and around the block. I passed John McCain, who had his tie loosened and his jacket swung over his shoulder. He smiled at me. I smiled back. We shared a moment.
Fifteen or twenty feet behind him were two thugged out teenage boys. They were holding hands and looked all cuddly. It was awesome.
Sometimes I don't give DC enough credit.
I need to stop working for the government or I will die alone, bitter, and friendless
Warning: this post contains a lot of griping about work. I'm sorry. I never wanted to become the person who blogs about hating their job. Consider it a "how to communicate inside the government" guide.
So, I get bored easily. I've started and stopped a PhD, taught, coached debate, worked at the Archives, and had two jobs at the LOC since 2004. I can't play poker or pool because they don't evolve quickly enough for my taste. I like people who are interested in, and talk about, many different subjects. I am about to stop speaking to absolutely everyone that works with me, because a blinding rage rises within me every time anyone opens their mouth in my vicinity.
Quick background: absolutely everyone here loves me, loves talking to me, loves emailing me. They think I'm focused, dedicated, shy, self-effacing, sweet, patient, and funny. They are all hatching plans so that keep me in this wretched place forever. I get told this about 3 times a week. It makes me feel warm, fuzzy, and like a caged animal who needs to fight for her life.
Everyone I work with is also extremely intelligent. People have lived on 4 continents, everyone has an advanced degree, and they've all done fascinating things with their lives. We work in politics, which you think would incite nuanced, analytical conversation - or at least bitter, sardonic commentary.
No such luck. Instead, our communication is limited to a daily and weekly themes. Niceties such as: "hello!"
"how are you?"
"you look tired - everything alright?"
"Don't throw yourself out the window, you won't be here forever."
are meant to build rapport and establish a friendly work place atmosphere. Great. Love it. However, beyond that, all I want is for everyone to either ignore me or push the conversation forward.
Themes of the week are commentary on something or someone in the office. For example, I stumbled into work one Monday, exchanged my morning niceties, poured myself the last dregs of coffee, and forgot to screw the top back onto my travel mug. I went to take my first sip and the entire cup of coffee spilled all over me, creating a design on my pale-pink shirt that rather looked like a Rorschach inkblot. Other than the second-degree burns, it was actually pretty funny. Definitely worth mocking for a day, maybe two. Instead:Tuesday: "Did you remember a change of clothes today? We were thinking about banning you from coffee for your own safety."
Wednesday: "At least you're wearing brown today - it'll blend right in!"
Thursday: "Wow - two days of not wearing coffee. You turned over a new leaf!"
Friday: "She's wearing white! Better hide the coffee!"
And so on, every morning, I swear to you, for two solid weeks. I have no problem with them making fun of me. I have a problem with the uncreative, mind-numbingly boring monotony, and how convinced everyone seems that conversations like these create tight-knit, long lasting friendships.
In addition to our meta theme of the week, we talk about the weather and the days of the week every single day. When I taught pre-school, we got to sing songs. Here, we just pass the same phrases off as conversation.
Days of the week are my favorite: Monday: "It's Monday." Tuesday: "Still feels like a Monday." Wednesday: "We made it to hump day!!!" Thursday's special, because we have two options: "[It's almost/Wish it were already] Friday!" Friday: "At least it's Friday."
Be warned: you have to have this conversation with 4-5 people over the course of the day. Every day. Or you get kicked out of the government. It's one of their rules.
Here's how we talk about the weather, daily, as an entire office: It [still hasn't/won't stop/hopefully will/better not] [rain/snow].
It sure is [hot/cold] outside! (even when it's not).
I wish I were [y place], which is [warmer/colder] than here.
And then everyone sighs. At the same time.
The weather conversation inevitably leads to "Wow, Kellie, you sure spend a lot of time outside." Which is true. I am outside, regardless of weather, for absolutely all of the time I'm not stuck at my desk. It's partially because I'm a chain smoker, and partially because I hate it in here. In my work world, they think I'm an avid walker/coffee drinker. We'll go with that.
But now I have a new problem entering and leaving the building. It concerns two very nice police officers who guard my favorite entrance to the building. We'll call them Officer Larry and Officer Bob. To the best of my understanding, Officer Bob and Officer Larry both used to have crushes on me. Bob claimed me. Larry backed off. Larry is cute. Bob is not.
So I made up a boyfriend. They teased me about my Russian boyfriend everyday. Larry would whisper sweet nothings to me in Russian. It was hilarious.
Then, tragedy stuck. Larry got transferred to another guard station, so it was just me and Bob, six times daily, as I was fleeing and re-entering the building. Left without Larry's sense of humor, Bob has reverted to the "we must exchange the same words everyday" game. Every time he sees me, he asks, teasingly, "Where's Larry?" "Where are you hiding Larry?"
He finds this hilarious, but clearly I'm not hiding Larry. Haven't seen him is weeks. And, really, there are only about three ways I can say "I don't know, where is he?" or "Maybe he's hiding from you." Or "Maybe he quit and went to Vegas" and still sound like I'm joking. Honestly, I can no longer take the "Where's Larry? I know you know where he is!" joke thirty times a week. It actually causes me anxiety every time I go outside, simply because I have nothing new to say, and neither does he, and I feel like we're a scratched CD and I can't hit eject.
I hate it here. I hate that I just wrote for 45 minutes straight because I have no work to do. I'm becoming more and more socially inept with each passing day. I need to leave the government before I become a reclusive, mute cat-lady in the woods somewhere.
But, ya know, at least it's Friday.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
24 Years, 24 Relationships, 80 Hours, Obsessive
In a swing at information design, this guy documented every "intimate relationship" he's ever had in chart form. My favorite part? "As a note: I had considered removing the names before posting this, but decided it would not be proper of me to do so." So it's very neat, but also very, very creepy. I kind of want to make one out of magnets so you can put it on your fridge. That way you can rearrange pieces at will or just keep putting them back over and over and over again. Also, everyone that goes to get some ice cream will know how many people you've slept with.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
The Law
Being a lawyer isn't always boring. Here is a tidbit from a case tried in Georgia (of course), sent to me by my friend David.
On April 5, 1996, this Court ordered Plaintiff to show cause why this
Court should not impose Rule 11 sanctions upon him for filing a motion
for improper purposes. The motion which Plaintiff filed was entitled "
Motion to Kiss My Ass" (Doc. 107) in which he moved " all Americans
at large and one corrupt Judge Smith [to] kiss my got [sic] damn ass
sorry mother fucker you." This Court gave Plaintiff until April 25,
1996, to respond and specifically warned: " Failure to comply with
this Order will result in dismissal of this case." Plaintiff has
appealed the show-cause order to the United States Court of Appeals
for the Eleventh Circuit. Washington v. Alaimo, 934 F.Supp 1395 (S.D.Ga. 1996).
Southern fried cookin'
Lauren asked me how we cook okra in the south, so I figured I'd post the recipe.
The answer is, of course, fried. Delicious, delicious fried. Here's how I make it.
Ingrediants:
Lots of fresh okra
Some sort of milk*
Cinnamon
Corn meal
Flour
Chili powder
Salt and pepper
Vegetable oil/canola oil
*Although I have come to accept the taste-less-ness of much of vegan cooking, the last time I fried okra we made a batch with vanilla soy milk for me, and one with half & half for Mathgimp. We both liked the soymilk batch better. It seems to coat more effectively, and just tasted more delicious. So, I recommend soy milk.
1.Wash the okra, cut off either end and throw away.
2. Slice the okra in half (not length wise - into smaller almost-circular pieces.)
3. Let the okra pieces soak in a bowl of milk for 5 minutes or so - they'll get kinda slimy.
4. Pour about 1/2 inch of vegetable oil into a pan and heat until the oil spits when you drop water in it.
5. While the oil's heating and the okra's soaking, mix together all the dry stuff. I completely make up amounts, about a cup of flour, a cup of corn meal, and then a few spoonfulls of chili powder and cinnamon. That's my special addition to the recipe - I think it's too bland otherwise.
6. Now that the okra's done soaking, roll it around in the dry mixture til it's nice and coated (I think the fancy term is drege)
7. Drop as many pieces of coated okra in the oil as will fit at one time without touching each other. Be wary of spitting oil. Let it fry until it turns golden brown, and then put on a plate. If there are random pieces of fried floating around, you might want to fish them out between batches.
That's it! Delicous.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
Maybe all of Maryland/CRS doesn't suck....
This is awesome - it's an article from the Washington Post about Takoma Park voting to support impeaching Bush and Cheney. And, even cooler, I work with the woman in the picture.
Ten Random Websites of the Week
I'm trying to make the blog more interactive. I like the Community Bookshelf (recommend more books to post!!!) Mathgimp gave me this idea from his del.icio.us post today on the Periodic Table of the Internet.
I randomly chose 10 sites I'd never heard of before. Here's my impression of each.
Next week, someone else should edit this post with their 10 random new websites.
1. Dave Ramsey.net Though initially cautious, I was compelled by his message: "debt is stupid." I agree. Unfortunately, you have to pay an un-disclosed amount in order to participate in his "Total Money Makeover." Seems like bullshit. I'd rather spend the money drinking away my sorrows as I pay off the minimum due amount on my credit card. Rating: BOOOO.
2. This American Life: I didn't know about the website, but I've listened to the show on NPR. It's also transitioned to television this year. Good: the show tends to be life-affirming and heart-warming. I like Ira Glass (it's host). Bad: They made a deal with Itunes, so you have to pay to download archived episodes. Still: It's public radio, so might be worth your money. Rating: Fair enough.
3. Ask a Ninja. Hilarious. Like last night's Democratic debates, but with a ninja who's not afraid to answer the tough questions. Rating: Two thumbs up.
4. Found Magazine I'm adding this to the "Random Whatnots" link list. It's like Overheard in New York, but national and with objects - love letters, kid's toys, random objects - complete with witty captions from the submitters. I love it. Rating: Worth a daily visit.
5. The Internet Archive. Endeavors to create a permanent index of the contents of the web, movies, pictures, literature, audio, and software. The website is run in collaboration with the Library of Congress (yay!) and the Smithsonian. It's pretty damn impressive - you need to know how to program to access the index of websites, but the movies and stuff are free. Rating: Great resource.
6. GIMP. I was hoping it was a fansite for Mathgimp, but sadly it's not. It's the GNU Image Manipulation Program, which seems to be kinda like photoshop, but free. Rating: free is cool.
7. Mind Hacks. Joey and I have an ongoing debate over whether or not it's OK to merge computers and humans. It scares the shit out of me. Luckily, this website isn't about creating cyborgs, but about neuroscience and psychology. Today's quote is by Da Vinci. Rating: If this is your thing, have at it.
8. Something Awful. Dedicated to the stupidest things on the internet - movies, websites, etc. Rating: Sad but useful. Makes me feel better about our blog, but only slightly.
9. Filthy Critic. A stupid, mean man does movie reviews. Rating: Stupid and lame. Humor lost on me.
10. Ted.com It's called "Ideas worth spreading: inspired talks by today's thinkers and doers." Or something like that. The website is pretty. I didn't watch any of the videos, but I would have if I had headphones at work. Rating: Promising.
NOT as interesting as dolphins at Sea World
I PROMISE no more dorky posts for today. Happy Youtube/CNN debate! Here was my predicting for talk-time:
Obama
Clinton: -:40
Edwards: -1:15
Richardson: -1:45
Dodd:-1:15
Biden: -:30
Kucinich: -2:30
Gravel: -1:00
Basically, based on media coverage, I percieve Clinton and Obama to be statistically tied, with Clinton being a more concise speaker than Obama. I think the media's willing to let Edwards play at the very bottom of the 1st tier - so give him 2 minutes less speaking time than Obama, and call it a day. Despite poll numbers, I don't think the media portrays Richardson as a serious candidate. He seems to be on his own playing field, cause he's out-fundrasing and out-polling Dodd and Biden, but not given the same cred as Edwards. I think of Dodd and Biden as the same person (not as Senators, but in the presidential race), so I can't for the life of me figure out how Dodd got that much more talking time, especially because Anderson Cooper kept yelling at Biden and telling him he was overtime. So it seems as though may be elevating Dodd and demoting Biden, or perhaps promoting Kucinich.
I got the order right, but the amount of time horribly wrong. With my fuzzy math, and rounded seconds, here's how it actually happened:
Obama: 15:11
Clinton: -2:40
Edwards: -1:55
Richardson: -1:15
Dodd:-0:45
Biden: -1:30
Kucinich: -1:00
Gravel: -2:00
11 minutes and 1 second between Gravel and Obama - pretty remarkable.
I thought Clinton, once again, rocked the stage, but for some reason got almost 3 minutes less than Obama - the most significant difference between candi candidates (The next-biggest gap is at the bottom - Kucinich received only 1 minute less than Biden, but Gravel got 2 minutes less than Kucinich). Poor Gravel. I don't even know what to say. He spent over half his time screamin about how he wasn't allowed to talk.
Edwards is closer to Clinton than she is to Obama - about 2 minutes less talking time. Seriously, he needs a foreign policy coach. He's straight up mimicing what Clinton says, and looks relieved that she got to go first. He's got pretty eyes, and I think he's transformative and inspiring on domestic issues... but the man needs to read some back issues of Foreign Affairs. I don't know if an Edwards/Richardson ticket would win, but Richardson as a strong, foreign policy VP to Edwards would be kind of fascinating.
Richardson is a funny, smart, personable guy. Bryan's working on his campagin and has some kind of hero crush on him, I actually like his campaign commercials, but he comes across as two steps from dead up there. He's not articulate, and doesn't break through the party line. I don't think he explained well what the fundamental difference between himself and the Senators on Iraq actually is, and it looked like Biden womped him on the facts - and then he subsequently offered Biden the position of Secretary of State.
This was Kucinich's strongest debate by far. He was able to articulate his positions without sounding whiny and totally left wing.
I hate Anderson Cooper.
That's my debate analysis.
Amazon Associates book images into a blog post
This may already be on some other blog somewhere, but I couldn't find it, so I figured out how to do it myself.
Let's say you're a member of Amazon Assoc., and you want to embed book images into your post - like our Community Bookshelf. Here's what you do.
1. Just to piss Mathgimp off, we'll use the brilliant and witty Jasper Fforde book The Eyre Affair as our example. Go to "Build A Link" off of your Amazon Associates Page. You're given three options: Text, Image and Text, Image. I'm choosing "Image Only."
2. Right click on the book picture, and save the image somewhere on your computer. Don't rename it.
3. Copy the html in the box under step 3. Mine looks like this: <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0142001805?ie=UTF8&tag=stucinmary
-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0142001805">
<img border="0" src="21KTRVBW5AL._AA_SL160_.jpg">
lt;/a><img src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=stucinmary-
20&l=as2&o=1&a=0142001805" width="1" height="1"
border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px!important;" />
4. Go to your blog, and create a new post. Paste the html from Amazon onto your screen. Then, click on the upload image icon and select the image you saved in step 2.
5. It'll give you a big, messy set of code that looks like this: <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"
href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_DbpWQkSu3Bw/RqUfg5b0UHI/
AAAAAAAAACI/6L6ViJSGHZI/s1600-h/21KTRVBW5AL._AA_SL160_.jpg">
<img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px;
text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;"
src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_DbpWQkSu3Bw/RqUfg5b0UHI/AAAAAAAAACI/
6L6ViJSGHZI/s320/21KTRVBW5AL._AA_SL160_.jpg" border="0"
alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5090509603845984370" /></a>
6. OK. Now comes the tricky part, so make sure you follow along exactly. Basically, the code above contains two links to the image: one that is the thumbnail image that appears in the post, and one to a larger version of the image, that will open in a new window. You want to substitute the Amazon link for the enlarged image link.
7. You do that by replacing the bolded part of the blogger image link here: <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e)
{}"
href="http://bp2.blogger.com/_DbpWQkSu3Bw/RqUfg5b0UHI/AAAAAAAAACI/
6L6ViJSGHZI/s1600-h/21KTRVBW5AL._AA_SL160_.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px;
text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;"
src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_DbpWQkSu3Bw/RqUfg5b0UHI/AAAAAAAAACI/
6L6ViJSGHZI/s320/21KTRVBW5AL._AA_SL160_.jpg" border="0"
alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5090509603845984370" /></a>
With the bolded part of the Amazon link here: <a
href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0142001805?ie=
UTF8&tag=stucinmary-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&
creativeASIN=0142001805"><img border="0" src="21KTRVBW5AL._AA_SL160_.jpg"></a><img
src="http://www.assoc-amazon.com/e/ir?t=stucinmary-20&l=as2&o=1&a=0142001805"
width="1" height="1" border="0" alt="" style="border:none !important; margin:0px
!important;" />
Important! For a reason I don't understand, it ONLY works with "href" NOT "a href" -- do NOT copy "a href", or it won't work. Just "href," then the url for the Amazon link. Make sense?
8. Now, you have this code: <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e)
{}"href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/0142001805?ie=UTF8&tag=stucinmary
-20&linkCode=as2&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=0142001805">
<img border="0" src="21KTRVBW5AL._AA_SL160_.jpg"></a<img
style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer;
cursor:hand;" src="http://bp2.blogger.com/_DbpWQkSu3Bw/RqUfg5b0UHI/
AAAAAAAAACI/6L6ViJSGHZI/s320/21KTRVBW5AL._AA_SL160_.jpg" border="0"
alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5090509603845984370" /></a>
At the very end of the code, delete the /a> so your code is closed with />
Which gives you this! 
I think this works. Let me know if you have problems or find improvements!
Conversation on the Subway
MathGimp, I am the man at Starbucks who asks too much about your dairy habits.
Scene: 6 o'clock; Going home from work on the crowded subway.
Me (to the man sitting next to me): You're sitting awfully close to me, and I don't know how I feel about it.
Stranger Man (quite rightly taken aback that someone is speaking to him on the subway): Ummm..yeah it's as if we know each other...(nervous laugh)
Me (with an extravagant wave around the train): How many people on this train do you think are absolutely miserable? I mean, how many do you think are coming home from a job they hate?
Stranger Man: I'd guess a lot of them.
Me: Are you miserable at your job?
Stranger Man: Yeah, I guess I am pretty miserable there.
Me: Yeah, I think that's how it goes with most grown ups. But not for everyone.
Stranger Man: Who isn't miserable?
Me: The people who swim with dolphins for a living.
Stranger Man (trying to look at the bright side of things): Um, yeah. But if we didn't work at our miserable jobs, we couldn't live in this amazing [New York] city.
Me (Immediately finding the weakness in his argument): Yeah, but it wouldn't matter. If we swam with dolphins we'd live at Sea World.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Media of the month!
The best of what your authors are reading:
Joey's Recommendation: "It's like Friday Night Lights for high school chess"
Smed's Recommendation: "Best fiction I've read SINCE HIGH SCHOOL"
Shween's Recommendation: "I only read non-fiction. Does that make me crazy?"
Nuraido's Recommendation: "The love story of Abigail and John overshadows our country's founding - and it's hot."
Payin the billz
Mathgimp and I decided it wouldn't besmirch the integrity of the blog too much if we used it to make some money too. It won't be much, but I figure it might support the massive amount of coffee I drink while I'm administring it.
I tried to make the adds as unobtrusive as possible: nifty little google search bar, firefox button, and then ad bars at the bottom of the sidebar and the blog.
If you hate it, tell me, and if there's enough dissent I'll reconsider, cause I'm a benovelant dictator like that.
I also signed up for Amazon Associates: whenever we reference a book, CD, or item, I'm going to make it link to the Amazon page for folks to buy. If you want to opt out, of course, I'll leave your posts link-free, but it's fairly unobtrusive (check out the Harry Potter link on my post about the weekend).
If we make enough money, I'll use it to buy everyone drinks - so keep badgering your friends into reading!
HP, Flight of the Navigator, politics of the ME
Selda requested weekend updates. I, for one, ended up having a fantastic weekend.
On Friday night, Shweenerator and I met up in Chinatown to go to a Ella's Wood Fire Grill. It was lovely out, we were sitting outside on the patio, our waiter was adorable in a very self-conscious, shy way. We split a carafe of sangria and a delicious appetizer of eggplant and ricotta rolls (yum!!!) About 20 minutes later, Mathgimp met up with us, and Shween and I began singing the praises of this restaurant. Until the management came up. And told us we weren't allowed to sit on the patio, or at any table, unless we were actually ordering food. And made us move inside and stand up with our drinks. So this place went from a 10 in my book to about a 4, even though I might go back there to eat sometime.
Not to be deterred from drinking outside, we then wandered to Elephant and Castle, where Sarah and John work. I'd never been there before, but it's kind of amazing. An enormous patio - the best I've seen in DC, good food, delicious drinks... and Sarah was a pretty awesome waitress. We sat outside, talked, people watched, and then when she got off, we walked next door to yet ANOTHER bar, this one a fancy linen table-clothed type bar, where Ms. Sarah once again worked her magic and got us more free drinks.
At this point, not shockingly, I was more than a little drunk, which was the perfect time for us to go... GET Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows 
Saturday I slept in, woke up at 10:30, and read all day long. Finished the book at 6. Can't comment on it til mathgimp's done, under penalty of death and blog-boycotting, but it was very interesting. Except for a few things I didn't understand and kind of hated.
I finished the book exactly in time for the long-awaited pizza and movie night to begin. Kris and Katie seriously out-did themselves with ice cream sundaes -- HUGE tub o'ice cream, and then more toppings than Baskin and Robbins. We ordered pizza from Mama Lucias (delicious, but pricey). Made margaritas. Everyone was hanging on the porch, drinking and having fun, when Smed showed up, all the way from NY, bearing a watermelon. Surprise! Good times. We watched Flight of the Navigator and Dazed and Confused in our 70s homage, and then went to bed.
Yesterday I basically just chilled all day. Slept in, talked to Seld for a while, talked to Chris Palmer for the first time in forever, actually, honest-to-God applied for 3 jobs, and then Rhonda came over. We got silly drunk with Greg and John and talked about Islam and the Middle East and the death penalty and just had really amazing and interesting conversations. Then Rhonda passed out on a pile of dirty laundry in my room, I fell asleep around 2:30, and my alarm went off WAYYYY too early this morning.
The week's off to a good start, though. Yay, fun weekends and social posts!
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Blue Bell Turns 100
And I celebrated the fuck out of it. Blue Bell was born in 1907 when a humble group of farmers started selling their butter. A few years later they started making a gallon or two of ice cream a day to give to their friends. The rest, as they say is history. They're currently celebrating their birthday with a three-day event in Brenham, Texas. Problem is, all there is to do is eat free ice cream. There was a live music stage and some exhibits, but they could only really occupy you for 30 minutes. I was there for more than three hours. I'm going to finish celebrating by remaining horizontal for the next 24 hours.
The weird thing is, all of the workers seemed really, genuinely happy to be there. I kept saying "Thanks a lot" whenever I'd get some more ice cream. They'd turn right back around and say, "No, thank you." It's like Blue Bell hired all the actors from their commercials to come pass out ice cream.
They showed me this article about Blue Bell (and Shiner) from the New York Times and talked about how the author was really weird, but they were really sad that he'd passed away and couldn't come down to celebrate. They talked about how 11 people peel over 36,000 bananas by hand in 7 hours. Then I met a guy that did it, and he convinced me that it was better than my job.
And then I tried 12 different types of ice cream. Eventually I had to eat a "sausage-on-a stick" just to get something on top of the Anniversary Cake, Century Sundae, Krazy Kolors, Cake Batter, Rainbow Sherbet, Peaches and Homemade Vanilla, Strawberries and Homemade Vanilla, Cookies and Cream, Chocolate Covered Cherries, Cherry and Vanilla, French Vanilla, and Banana Split.
Then I went back for more. I also got a paper hat.
Do you have a second for (insert cause here)
No, I don't have a second for the enviroment, or the democratic party, or animal rights, or gay rights. Or to see a comedy show for that matter.
And I should not feel bad for not stopping. These groups all ALL OVER. ALL SUMMER. I don't care that you're 19 and that this is your summer job or how much you care about the cause, I'm not giving you $30/month. Really, I'm not going to give you 30 cents a month because I kind of resent the way you make me feel when I have alotted a specific amount of time to get from point A to point B and you want me to chat with you for 10 of those minutes.
My first summer of exposure to this, I did the obligitory "yes, I do care about the enviroment, I will let you talk me into giving you money". I've even given money (not the per month kind, just a one time donation). But after 8 summers of it, I will go to extreme measures to avoid them. I'll talk on my cellphone to NO ONE. I will cross the street. I will go into a coughing fit just to avoid them.
When I was in college I signed up to work for Greenpeace--the most abrasive of the soliciters. I went to the training, got a uniform, was ready to go and the day before I got a little wake up call. You HATE these people. So people will HATE you. I coudn't do it. I also tried to get signatures for a democratic candidate for something or another in Times Square. That's probably all I have to say about that. The mental picture should do it justice. To those who can do it, or actually like to do it--good for you.
Friday, July 20, 2007
Abject Terror
WASHINGTON (AP) - President Bush will undergo a routine colonoscopy Saturday, his spokesman said, revealing that Bush will hand over presidential powers to Vice President Dick Cheney while he is under under anesthesia.
White House press secretary Tony Snow told reporters that Bush would have the procedure at his Camp David, Md., mountaintop retreat.
Oh, holy God we're FUCKED.
The origins of eating ourselves silly
Update: spell check didn't save last time, so this is edited.
Today's question comes from my old friend Peter: why is there no English equivalent of "bon appetit?" Most sources seem to provide "enjoy your meal," but it is always accompanied by an asterisk and an admonition that it's not a direct translation. We have no idiomatic way to wish people happy eating - what's up with that?
When I was in Moscow, I talked with several Russians who expressed amazement at how polite the English language is (true story). English has all of these unnecessary conversation fillers that soften our speech and make it less direct: "if you don't mind..." "if it's not too much trouble..." "I think that..." Russian, on the other hand, is apparently far more direct.
This makes the question particularly interesting to me. If the polite way to order food is to say "If you don't mind, I'd like the fried rice, but with no egg please, if it's not too much trouble. Thanks so much!" Which contains 5 politeness-modifiers, (that's my specially made up term for this post), why don't we have a unique way to say "eat well?"
My "research" (random web surfing) led me to the etymology of "bon appetit," Puritanism, the French revolution, and the bastardization of French culture. Here's what I found.
One theory is that we don't have an idiomatic form of "bon appetit" because of the Puritans. They took the fun out of sex, out of singing, and apparently out of eating. That's right - enjoying the way food tasted was a sin. Daniel Stuhlman, who writes about the Puritan theory, notes that if Puritanical attempts to eliminate pleasure deprived us of an English bon appetit, then there would be expressions that pre-dated the Puritan folk, and there don't seem to be any. He notes that "The Norman conquest of English in 1066 brought many changes in the social and linguistic structure in England. The English language gained many "polite" terms from Norman French that complemented the Anglo-Saxon terms. Many foreign expressions stuck in English, because there was no previous equivalent."
He is, of course, right about the fact that French made English classy and polite. Here's a pretty good summary of how French saved English from itself, but I'll give ya the elevator version. 800 or 900 years ago, the most uptight of British folk only spoke French - it was the language of the court, which made it the language of literature, which made it the language of upper classes. English was considered base and the language of street folk. Eventually, we stole a lot of words from French, our ability to discuss worldly important things improved, and English went on to conquer the free world. Although the language obviously evolved, some expressions just stuck.
I think he's wrong about bon appetit, though. The OED traces the first known occurrence of "bon appetit" in English to 1860, so clearly we were not early adopters of the phrase, and it certainly wasn't introduced wholesale into English in the 9th or 10th century.
I can't find much evidence about when "bon appetit" entered French either, so I came up with a theory of my own. Pretty close to pure conjecture, but I like it: the phrase co-evolved with the advent and evolution of restaurants. Restaurant is, of course, a French word. Here's a brief linguistic explanation ofthe meaning of "restaurant" in French. I prefer, though, the explanation given in the book Prague. My copy's at home, so I'm doing this from memory, but I think this is the jist. During the Renaissance, folks would meet in the parlors of inns to discuss philosophy and plan what ultimately became the French revolution. Eventually, inn keepers started cooking for them, which gave rise to public meeting-and-eating areas. Habermas also talks about the importance role restaurants played in providing folks with the ability to create a political life for the masses in The Structural Transformation of the Public Sphere. [Important: Apparently The Invention of the Restaurant: Paris and Modern Gastronomic Culture by Rebecca L. Spang, offers the opposite view of restaurants: they were a spa for spoiled, pampered Parisian elite. I haven't read it, so I'm going to stick with the idea of coffee shop revolutions until I do.]
The story goes, then, that as the French aristocracy began to lose its grip on the masses, and people began to flock to inns to organize rebellion and spread democracy, I'd like to think that the inn keepers showed their solidarity by offering a warm meal, something to drink, and well wishes, expressed through the expression "bon appetit!"
So, how'd we wind up with "bon-appetit" but no red-blooded equivalent? Apparently, the first American "fine-dining" experience was opened in NYC in 1830, and was modelled, of course, on the French way of dining: "a fine-dining establishment with all the sophistication of a meal at the court of Versailles." Seems to make sense to me that, in our hurry to create a more authentically French culinary experience, we would directly borrow French phrases, rather than substitute our own.
So your best bet is probably to tell people to enjoy their meal, or give a shout out to French revolutionaries with a hearty "bon appetit!" Traveling elsewhere, though, this chart might help you out - Bon appetit in about 30 languages. My favorite is Estonian: "may you have plenty of bread."
P.S. I broached the issue with Joey Seiler, authoritative voice on most things and the most accomplished author I know. He denounced the popular translation of "enjoy your meal," and instead offered this explanation: "Subtle translation differences change it to "Go fuck yourself and your Diners' Club Card." They just don't like to tell us. It's all one big joke on America."
I wasn't awake enough for this
So, today I happened to be near a Starbucks when I got coffee. I usually go to the union, where it's cheaper and better, but today I was stuck with Starbucks.
The barista noticed how light my coffee was, and said, "wow, that's a lot of cream." This mundane statement led to a rather odd 30 seconds, after the jump.
Pretty much everyone who has seen the color of my coffee has pointed out how much cream I use. Generally in a mocking manner. So, I smile and respond "Yeah, that's what they tell me." Usually, that's the end of the conversation, unless you're nuraido, in which case you point out you're more hardcore than I am (in this case, completely true). But no, not with this guy. We continue.
"So, I guess you like dairy products a lot" he asks. "Huh?" I ask. "You know, you must drink a lot of milk...." he responds expectantly. Really? I understand you have a boring job and all, but you are honestly bored enough to ask about my dairy intake? Really?
"No, not really. I don't drink much milk." I really don't, not that anyone reading this cares. Hell, no one really cares, including myself, except for this guy.
"Well, what if there were some terrible disease, and the only cure was to drink lots of milk all the time. Would you drink milk then?"
I honestly can't think of a stranger question I've been asked within 30 seconds of meeting someone. What the hell?
"Well, if milk were the only thing keeping me alive, then yeah, I guess I'd drink a lot of milk" I respond.
I have something of a confused expression on my face at this point, and really want him to take the money out of my hand so I can go back to work. Apparently, he was expecting me to want the conversation to continue, because actually looks disappointed.
He takes my money, makes change, and mumbles something about chocolate. How chocolate got into this I can't begin to fathom. But, because I didn't understand him, I don't have to respond to what he said. I smile, nod, and wish him a pleasant day.
I think the next poll we have on the blog should be related to dairy intake. Who's with me?
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Going nuts?
Research question of the day comes from Ms. Medway: why does nuts mean crazy?
As it turns out, nuts has a pretty interesting little history, as Daniel Engber explains here. Here's the upshot:
People were nuts about nuts. In the late 19th century, the British used "nuts" as slang for something they found enjoyable: Jack Straw would have been far from "nuts" on the idea of bombing Iran. (This usage may have originated in an old cliché—"sweet as a nut.") Being nuts on something meant you really liked it, but so did being "crazy on something." It's possible that "nuts" became a synonym for "crazy" because of this similarity. In any case, Americans were the first to connect the two, in the early 20th century.
Replate your leftovers
Easy to do, neat idea, and I like inventing new words. Check out their website .
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
The new poll - movie night!
Second Update: We have a run off - The clear winner, with 3 votes, is Flight of the Navigator! Now we need two more. Vote for your top two!
If only democracy was this easy
Update: Mix It Up Won - now vote for your favorite movies.
We're having an email war about Saturday's plans. By my count, 50 movies have been suggested. So, if you're coming over Saturday, here's the deal:
Vote by tomorrow for whichever theme you want. After you do, I'll post the movies from the theme, and we can vote on that.
The flame war can continue, but it can spread to the blog.
And, just to reiterate, unless Greg cedes control over the porch by midnight tonight, it's all Miracle on 34th Street, all the time.
Vote! Yay democracy!
Love
me
Bikini Masterpiece Theatre
In efforts to keep things light, I'm passing along press releases that never should have made it to me. I get a lot of these, but most of them have to do with virtual worlds or at least something kind of like that. Then I get weird ones, like the guy with MS who is auctioning off the right to taser him to raise money for MSExtreme.org. But then I got this: "Bikini Masterpiece Theater, a new Web channel with no crying, no hugging, no learning -- just fun."
"Bikini Masterpiece Theater is THE online place for titillating, humorous, irreverent entertainment for guys. Each of the seven interactive theaters has a different theme -- but the one constant is girls in bikinis performing lines from Shakespeare, telling jokes and storytelling. Vaudeville with a Web 2.0 twist, the theaters are interactive and include polls, ratings, and games."
I'm not sure how they knew I was tired of crying and hugging in my Shakespeare, but I do know that I have a special fondness for Nikki's reading from Richard II: "O, who can hold a fire in his hand / By thinking on the... frosty... Cock-us?"
On a more serious note, here's where I owned The Economist.
Woman or a doll - you choose!
Here's some zaney, lighthearted fun! Men playing with dolls!
Here's my favorite part:
"Nowadays, women are sometimes more dominant than men in the real world, and they don't always pay attention to men," said Hideo Tsuchiya, the company's president.
"More and more men are finding themselves miserable so we're making these dolls partly in support of men."
Delicious Recipe Follow-up
Pete's and my delicious dinner wildly exceeded our expectations. It was definitely as nice as going out for dinner, and the whole affair only cost $30 (plus a bottle of wine). Plus we had the fun of attempting to cook in my tiny kitchen and accidentally dusting ourselves over with charcoal powder (Ok, maybe the charcoal powder part wasn't as fun). Details on the dinner after the jump, but be prepared for your mouth to water.
We ended up eating in courses, since everything got done at different times. However, that was fine by me, since that meant a constant stream of delicious food and wine. We started out with an array of olives and artichoke hearts (Pete's idea - nicely done, Pete). Next course was a caprese salad (Pete's idea as well, and he handcrafted the whole thing, including a balsamic vinagrette to go over it).
Following that, we munched on some asparagus that I had marinated and thrown on the grill. Sooooo easy and delicious.
We moved on to some homemade garlic bread (Dammit, Peter gets credit again).
Finally we got to the delicious grilled mushroom that I detailed in a prior post. But I was so full by this time that I could barely eat half of mine. However, the mushroom recipe turned out delightful - the mushroom was very juicy, and the fresh mozarella we used tasted delicious.
In summary, everyone should be very jealous of Pete and me because we (well, mostly Pete) cooked a delicious dinner and enjoyed an altogether lovely night on the patio.
Also, I think I used the word "delicious" about eleventy billion times in this post, but I don't care, because it was. Delicious, that is.
Selda. haha.
I love all of you (well, the ones I know). But the blog's a little serious. I like serious mixed with in with a healthy dose of a good time. You know, like all the popular blogs:perezhilton, that gay guy who was a guest host on the view, pink is the new blog. you know, like that. So, I'm taking that up as my job.
I may not even be posting this right. I think the crazy shit y'all do during the weekend is a good time. So post that too! You can still talk about Bush and Iraq, and the "problems" of the world. But throw in a good anectote or two. Let's get to know each other. Like my weekend, for instance. My friend got a puppy! That's right! I'm a lesbian mother! Her name is Georgia (like the country, not the state) and she's going to grow up to be big and mean and aggresive, but right now she's the cutest thing since sliced bread.
To make this a multi-cultural post, my friend Sam has guests in town from Isreal. You know, that war-torn country in the middle east. I refer to them as the Israelies, and they don't mind. (I do know thier names) We got wasted and played pool and all they want to do is go dancing. Seriously? I can't dance for money. (well, maybe for money. . .)
My dad had a friend in from out of town and they took me, Sara and my friend Adam to lunch. We drank heavily and they told us they went to a piano bar the previous night. If I didn't know them, I would have thought they were a nice gay couple looking to pick up a young man at a bar. But they were clueless. My dad was excited that he knew RENT.
Okay. That's it. Blog's are cool!
Whatever happened to free speech zones?
To keep me from losing my mind at work (the cold, dark place that lacks a human element), Greg's started to give me research projects.
Today we have the following question: Whatever happened to Free Speech Zones? Note: I know this violates everything about Selda's demand for more fun posts, so my next one will be silly. I promise.
So, a few years ago, anyone who had ever voted for a democrat and then tried to get within 300 yards of Bush was confined to a "free speech zone" at public events, held on public property. Everyone should read every word of this article from 2004. It's a heart warming throwback to the days when Tom Ridge and John Ashcroft were still the epitome of evil (who could have predicted Gonzalez?)
Here's an excerpt: Likewise, in May of last year, the Homeland Security Department waded butt-deep into the murky waters of political suppression, issuing a terrorist advisory to local law enforcement agencies. It urged all police officials to keep a hawk-eyed watch on any homelanders who [Warning: Do not read the rest of this sentence if it will shock you to learn that there are people like this in your country!] have "expressed dislike of attitudes and decisions of the US government."
MEMO TO TOM RIDGE, SECRETARY OF HSD: Sir, that's everyone. All 280 million of us, minus George Bush, you and the handful of others actually making the decisions. You've just branded every red-blooded American a terrorist. Maybe you should stick to playing with your color codes.
Interestingly enough, free speech zones swing both ways. In 2004, Protesters at the DNC were confined to a fenced-in area -- a wire enclosure topped by razor wire outside Boston's FleetCenter, where the Convention was held. They charged that their First Amendment rights were violated by this confinement.
Apparently, spinoffs of FSZs continue across the country. Atlanta and St. Petersburg both struggled over what to do with homophobs during city-sanctioned gay pride parades. Atlanta decided against creating zones and allowed unrestricted protests by anti-gay groups. Somewhat bizarrely, the St. Petersburg mayor and police chief created a little area for gay folk, a little area for the anti-gays, and then arrested people who violated their respective zones.
On the side of progress, the Minneapolis city council is drafting operating procedures to follow to protect free speech during the 2008 RNC.
On the side of insanity, check this out: excerpts from the manual given to advance teams at Bush's speaking engagements. Look at all the clever ways they have of weeding out protesters and protecting the president. It really is a good read.
So, here's my question to my law school friends: WTF? Why is any of this in any way legal? How are cages out of sight of the event a reasonable restriction of free speech? How can you deny protesters the right to speak to the media?
Also, the ACLU seems to file law suits here and there against various organizations for these free speech zones - they just filed a new one last month. Why can't there be a sweeping decision against the zones? What about the law am I missing?
Love
me
"CRS lacks a human element"
This is in today's Roll Call. You guys have heard me talk about this guy for a really long time - he finally went public. Check out the story after the jump.
Union Complains CRS Lacks ‘Human Element’
July 17, 2007
By John McArdle,
Roll Call Staff
Congressional Research Service union representatives, citing two recent disagreements with Library of Congress officials regarding employee health care matters, claim CRS management no longer takes into account “the human cost” when establishing priorities.
The disputes over the possible firing of one employee for taking too much sick leave and the denial of another staffer’s request for a more flexible work schedule mark the latest chilling of the relationship between the Congressional Research Employees Association and CRS management, which still stand in stark disagreement over a reduction in force that was completed earlier this year and affected 59 employees.
CREA’s growing concern over the leadership priorities established by CRS Director Daniel Mulhollan and other officials has become one of more acrimonious labor/union disagreements within legislative branch agencies in recent years. Dennis Roth, who has served as CREA’s president for almost 20 years, has appeared before House administrators twice in the past year to accuse CRS management of using a “confrontational strategy” toward labor relations while employees are treated as disposable assets.
In an interview last week, Roth said: “This is basically [about] giving a damn about employees. Technically they don’t have to, they can run it as a strictly business organization and the people are just another piece of the machinery that when they break down you get rid of them. ... We’re trying to bring some human element into this.”
Mulhollan, however, paints a different picture of his management style.
“Their health and welfare is our highest priority,” he said in a statement Monday. “To support the staff, we take all appropriate steps to ensure that CRS is a vital and dynamic workplace that is responsive to supporting Congress in its deliberations and legislative decision-making. In our organization, all CRS employees are afforded the utmost professional respect and courtesy and CRS complies with all applicable federal laws and regulations.”
But Roth pointed to the case of Louis Golino, a Congressional relations specialist in CRS’ Inquiry section, as one example of how Mulhollan has been unwilling to create a flexible and family-friendly workplace.
Golino currently is facing the possibility of losing his job because of his attendance record in 2006 and 2007.
In 2005, Golino had two major surgeries to remove a rare type of brain tumor, and he also suffers from chronic musculoskeletal problems. In 2006 he had almost 185 hours of unscheduled absences. Since a written warning was issued to him regarding his leave time in September of last year, he’s used about 85 hours of unscheduled leave time.
In documents submitted in response to a management proposal to dismiss him, Golino argued that his leave use “has declined substantially since last fall as my health has improved. ... My attendance record is a normal one for someone with serious medical conditions. In addition, I have followed all policies, regulations and restrictions I am under and my doctors have provided exhaustive information about my medical situation.”
Golino stated in the document that rather than being fired after 16 years of working for the CRS, “the most appropriate course of action would be to reassign me to another job where I would have greater flexibility in work schedule.”
Golino said last week that the proposed dismissal “came as such a shock to me because when they identified a problem last fall in terms of the amount of time I had to take off for some serious medical problems, they told me to improve and I did that. Last year was a particularly bad year, and I think things are going better.”
He added that a lawsuit probably would be in the works if Mulhollan were to go forward with his dismissal.
At the same time that Golino’s case is being deliberated, Roth said CREA is seeking to schedule arbitration with CRS management in the case of Joyce Thorpe, an employee who suffers from carpal tunnel syndrome and earlier this year sought permission from Mulhollan to begin her workday before 7 a.m. so she would not have to ride a crowded bus, where she often has to stand up and hang on to hand rails. Her request was denied.
CRS spokeswoman Janine D’Addario said Monday that the agency would not discuss either case “as a matter of professional courtesy and out of respect for the confidentiality of individuals.”
D’Addario did say the CRS complies with the Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993, which guarantees employees up to 12 workweeks of leave per 12 month period for, among other things, an individual’s serious health condition.
She said employees may request approval to work from home when special needs dictate. But “as shared Congressional staff, CRS employees must be available by telephone, e-mail and in person to support the Congress. The director has determined that the hours of service must be aligned to the legislative schedules and permitting employees to work remotely in routine situations would weaken one of CRS’ strengths — accessibility.”
D’Addario added that according to policy, “CRS employees are eligible to select a flexible work schedule that can begin any time from 7:30 a.m. to 10 a.m. weekdays. Exceptions to allow employees to start their workday before 7:30 a.m. are granted on a case-by-case basis based on personal hardship of the employee and CRS’ business requirements.”
“There’s just an unwillingness to deal with medical situations” at the CRS, Roth said last week. “It’s considered a liability rather than something where we could find common ground to solve problems. There’s absolutely no flexibility. ... If there’s a management official in a similar situation [as Golino], what would they have done? Usually I would think they would reassign and work more closely.”
Mulhollan responded in his statement that it “is simply sad that CREA has to resort to such a tactic as stating that CRS staff members challenged by illness are treated differently because of their status as bargaining unit employees. Equal treatment under the law is a value within CRS that is taken into account in every decision. To imply otherwise is not only highly distortive of reality, but is more the pity when CREA undertakes these types of tactics when there is no other credible argument in their case.”
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Labels
This is an update/adaptation to the earlier post about post-by-author tabs. Smed and I had a very lengthy conversation today about the blog.
I won't lie, the alarm level was raised to Code Orange more than once. In the end, though, all is well, and this is what we have.
1. If you look on the left sidebar, we now have Contents by Category. Basically, we decided that most of the posts made one the blog fall into these categories: politics, social (i.e. stuff about us and our group of friends), cooking, culture, tech, history, blog (stuff about our blog), and it would be useful to see posts indexed that way. Smed and I went through and added labels to one or two post in each category, but, again, it's your job to go through your old posts and add labels to them if you want them to appear.
She also thinks, and I concur, that we need more book/movie/tv show reviews. If you see cool/shitty/interesting/horrible things, blog about it!
2. Just to recap, I am loving the post-by-author tabs at the top. It's REALLY cool. Click on a name, and it shows all of the posts by that author. Again, these are indexed by labels, so you need to go through and label all of your old posts with your name.
3. Both of these are from Hoctro, who really does neat stuff with JSON, that I will never understand.
Delicious Recipe
I thought you all might to know a delicious vegetarian recipe that you can prepare for yourself and your loved ones. Peter and I are going to make this tonight on the grill of my fabulous patio.
"Grilled Portobello and Mozzarella" (serves 4)
Ingredients:
I'm going to serve this deliciousness with grilled asparagus (seasoned with butter and salt and pepper) and some sort of instant quinoa. The quinoa is a good idea because although it is a grain, it is chock full of protein.
Pete and I will let y'all know how it turns out. BON APPETIT.
Salon interview with Elizabeth Edwards
Even though I am a foreign policy junkie, I am suffering from a case of Iraq burnout, and I think that the Edwards campaign just might be the cure I need.
I don't care about the Senate slumber party. I don't care how many benchmarks the puppet al Maliki government failed to meet. I don't care that Bush's lying ass pretends Al Qaeda in Mesopotamia is the same organization as Al Qaeda. I don't care that the American public continues to fall for it.
The Edwards campaign is a breath of fresh air. It's about time that a candidate ran a substantive campaign based on domestic, social issues. He actually gives entire speeches without mentioning how Bush fucked up Iraq. (Although, should he win the nomination, that may be his undoing in the general election. He doesn't have much foreign policy experience). He and Elizabeth both make substantive, intelligent arguments about health care, education, and poverty. They come across as likable, intelligent, and empathic. Elizabeth Edwards is a smart, classy woman, and it comes across nicely in this interview.
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Yippee!!!
Things don't look weird anymore. I think everything's working again, including read more. Tell me of problems.
I'm still working on the display by author; if you have time, it would still be wildly helpful if you could go add your name as a label to all of your previous posts. I probably won't do it for you.
Have a great Sunday! Happy Birthday, Shween!
Kel
Friday, July 13, 2007
Republican sex scandal updates
I wrote a few days ago about poor Rep. Vitter's name appearing on the DC Madam's list. Well, this is from our good friend Jakob, who will hopefully start writing on the blog very soon:
Wendy Vitter, the congressman's wife, joking in a 2000 interview with Newhouse News Service that she'd be less forgiving about dalliances than the spouses of former U.S. Rep. Bob Livingston and former President Bill Clinton: "I'm a lot more like Lorena Bobbitt than Hillary. If he does something like that, I'm walking away with one thing, and it's not alimony, trust me."
And, in other news, North Carolina state reps are sexually assaulting their employees, and Florida state reps like to give blow jobs on the cheap.
Party of family values, people.
I know things look weird...
Pretty soon, perhaps on Monday, I'm going to create a draft blog so that I can fuck around without everyone seeing it. Until then, Ms. Smed requested a way to see posts-by-author -- I'm almost there, but still have a few things to do. I'm still kinda sick, though, so I'm going to go watch a movie and probably leave the blog being ugly until I go back to work. Sorry!
However, the new changes are going to be neat. And I need everyone to go back and add your screen name as a label to your previous posts, please.
Oh, and read more is broken. I think it's the java script host. If it's not fixed Monday, I'll fiddle around some more.
Thanks!
Love
me
This is Amazing!
Simply amazing. The moral of the story is that everyone needs love. And a little booze.
Update: Fixed Broken Link
Thursday, July 12, 2007
Quick Vomit Update
Because who wouldn't want to read about vomit on a Thursday afternoon!
Our government invents some really kooky combat weapons. But I'd say this one takes the cake. It's a stun gun that you can fire at someone, causing them to lose balance in their inner ears and throw up. You know what, I am usually generally passive and peace-loving. But in this case, may I be the first to say, WAY TO GO, GOVERNMENT!
Can you imagine what it would be like to go around with a vomit phaser at bars? You could just stun anyone who was obnoxious, and hilarity would ensue. OR if you really didn't want to be at work, you could just taser yourself. Yeah, that's it...taser yourself. Because we all know that throwing up is the surest way to get sent home from work. Ain't no boss going to dispute a pile of throw-up.
Anyway, I could definitely go on about this topic at length. But I think I'm going to go vomit on my supervising attorney's feet now and skedaddle for the day.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Misc updates
I am very sick, and just drank a lot of Nyquil.
Smed's posts are better than mine.
Everyone should get twitter and make Joey happy. Although we got delicious and he never did.
Real things after the jump.
Friendly reminder: If you're not going to post something long, delete all of the span tags before you post, so the read more doesn't appear and lie to people. We're all really smart people, with multiple degrees between us. We can make this happen.
If you're observant, you may have looked at the blog and thought "Oh, dear God, where did the links go?!!!" (Look at the left sidebar if you don't know what I am talking about.) I made the link lists expandable because I think it's prettier. The downside is that you guys can no longer add links by going to the customize layout screen. If you want a link permanently added to the sidebar, you can email it to me, or post it, and your wish will be granted.
These are the new updates I'm working on: 1. A group twitter badge on the right sidebar, 2. A way to see if anyone links to our blog/posts; 3. Set up polling (I'm really excited about polls!); 4. Adding labels to posts without them and then creating a table of contents. Any other suggestions?
Last but not least: this is Shween's birthday weekend! To celebrate, the HON crowd is rollin' to NYC. Smeds already there, Shween leaves tomorrow, and mathgimp and I will battle the forces of my health and his advisor to arrive at some point in time for the festivities! Hooray!
Looks like someone fucked up the blog...
And that person is me. Please Kellie, delete one of the twice-posted entries found beneath this one. I am so ashamed; it's a blogging snafu. Feel free to delete this post too, I guess. Although it does include the word "snafu."
Holy Asap!
Everyone is all atwitter (no, Joey I have not gotten a twitter account) about these new iphones. Sure they are cool, but I have a few ideas (okay, 2 ideas) about how 'regular' cell phones could be improved.
1. Program curse words into the T9 texting function. This would make my life so much easier. For a while, I would accidentally send out messages such as "Holy Asap" (Holy Crap), "Go dual yourself" (Go fuck yourself), and "Indebomhu!" (Goddammit!). I have finally wised up, and saved these essential words into my T9 program. However, a cell phone would be much cooler if all of these curse words came with the phone from the beginning.
2. Add a phone number texting function. This means that you could go into your phone book, select someone's number, and then text it to another person. How many times has a friend called you asking for a number? Then they have to sit and listen to you beep through your phone book, and then you both have to try to remember the number. And how annoying is it to have to text a number? If there was a texting function WITHIN the phone book, my life would be much easier.
3. This isn't a suggestion to improve my crappy cell phone, but to all of you people (KELLIE COUGH TOMMY) who have not yet switched to T9 texting, WELCOME TO 2007! Evolve or die, my friends. You remind me of an old person who refuses to buy a computer because "computers didn't exist in my day." Well, you know what happens to that old person? HE DIES. Take that as you will.
Twitter Updates
So I added a Twitter box for myself. I don't know if we can have a group box or not, might be worth looking into if there's sustained interest. You can click on my badge to see my profile on twitter or search for me there or just click here. You can add me as a friend, which means you'll get my updates through the Web or follow me, which means you'd get them through SMS or IM. Either way, they're showing up in the side bar now. I have my badge set up for just one update at a time. It's sort of a constant status message like IMs. Make sense? Let me know if it doesn't. I'm both a friend with and following Kellie. Come join the fun.
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
Save the Internet: 6 Days Left (5 if you read this in the morning)
So most of my posts are about random tech stuff, but here's a little politics to fit in. "Net neutrality" means that telecommunications companies share traffic equally across the network. That's the way things work now, and it's legally enforced that way. The alternative, that the Bush administration and most telcos are fairly behind, is to deregulate and allow individual companies to offer whatever content they want and charge more for full access.
Yup, under some existing proposals, you'd have to pay more to access our blog, if you could at all. It has all sorts of other content, privacy, and communications issues related to it. In a completely deregulated world companies could choose to allow, slow down, or speed up access to whatever sites they wanted. Think of it as somewhere between China and CompuServe.
Some of that's extremist, but what's fairly likely is that if you subscribed through AT&T and they supported the Yahoo empire, you would have a tough time accessing the Google empire, including Blogger.
Fortunately, the FCC is conducting an inquiry into how citizens feel about this, but it closes on the 16th. If you want to read more, check out this article or this FAQ. If you want an easy way to contact the FCC, here's a form letter and a petition.
Twitterific
I was just wondering if anyone else here uses Twitter. Since we're doing this whole stay connected through technology thing, I thought I'd bring everyone up to speed. Twitter is a micro-blogging service that lets you post "tweets" of less than 140 characters from the Web, IM, your phone, or desktop clients. You can also use it to receive SMS tweets to your phone from many bloggers and news sources, including the New York Times. It's huge among the hip, elite techsters--everyone started using it at SXSW this last year--but it doesn't seem like anyone I'm actually friends with is using it. Are y'all coastal types seeing this at all? Regardless, I say good for us for blogging together, but we might be behind the times. If nothing else, I suggest we post a badge to add twittering to the blog.
Goings on
Greetings from House of Nerds, where things never stop changing! (Because I'm stuck in Maryland, and I have nothing better to do besides update the blog). Please read and provide feedback about the new additions.
Update: I ran out of time, because Congress is overzealous in their research today, I am going to update the links I reference here, explain to Joey how to use "read more" and how not to, and ask for your opinions about various optional updates. Stay tuned!
Until then, please observe today's fun tricks, after the jump.
Today's earlier post (here) shows all the style stuff I've changed: we now have fancy blockquotes, pullquotes, and drop caps. Here's the trick -- you just need to remember a TINY bit of css if you want to use them. I'll also update this on the FAQs page, in case you forget.
Most of you seem to have gotten the <span id="fullpost">
down by now, so I'm going to add three more tags to your html/css vocabulary: <span class="pullquote"> whatever you want to pull goes here</span>
<span class="dropcaps">the letter you want to make large goes here</span>
<blockquote>the text you want to highlight goes here</blockquote>
(you guys already know how to use this one, I think, so I'm not going to model it).
If you want the pullquote to look like this, then use "pullquote"
So. How do these work? Let's say you want to use the fancy "dropcaps" function, like in a magazine. You simply put the first letter of the word between <span class="dropcaps"></span>
and it makes it pretty. So, for example, if I
If you think this pullquote is prettier, then just use "pullquote2".
Fun, right???
were to take a section from Smed's earlier post, I would go like this: <span class="dropcaps">H</span>ere
and it would look like this:
Here is your legal lesson for the day. Big businesses get mortgages from the bank so they can buy really expensive property. But the bank doesn't want to be left with an mortgage IOU in exchange for loaning the companies
some money. So it divides the mortgage up into hundreds of pieces and sells them to the highest bidders. Each bidder tells the bank how much interest they want to make when the bank repays them.
Does that make sense? kinda cool, huh?
Lots of Liquor
So I just paid my credit card bill and realized we never collected money for the Austin reunion party. I expect people to be handing me drinks left and right the next time we all meet up. I'm looking forward to it. You can also mail pre-mixed drinks (in tightly sealed containers, of course) to my Austin address. We will synchronize our watches and toast each other across the country. Alternatively, you can look into whether Barfly's has gift certificates. Actually, that might be ideal. And now you all know what you'll be getting for Christmas this year, too.
I know something you don't know.
Unfortunately, that thing is an obscure area of securities law.
Here is your legal lesson for the day. Big businesses get mortgages from the bank so they can buy really expensive property. But the bank doesn't want to be left with an mortgage IOU in exchange for loaning the companies some money. So it divides the mortgage up into hundreds of pieces and sells them to the highest bidders. Each bidder tells the bank how much interest they want to make when the bank repays them. Some people are greedy and say they want 20%. Some people say they will be fine with 5%. But here is the catch: the bank puts all these people in order, and the people who want the most interest are at the end of the line. If the big company can't pay the mortgage, the bank will never repay the person who wanted the big interest. The person who wanted 20% will get NOTHING because he is a greedy bastard. But if everything does go well, and the big company pays the mortgage, the person wanting 20% interest will make a shitload of money. Some people spend their lives investing in and regulating these real estate trades to make a lot of money. I suggest they throw themselves off of whatever piece of real estate they have invested in.
The blog, it is a changin'
Because I never stop working for you, I am making a half-dozen or so changes today, so don't be surprised if things appear/disappear randomly. If you find something that doesn't work, let me know, though. I'll post about all the fun new things when I'm done!
Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetuer adipiscing elit. Aenean eros diam, cursus id, iaculis quis, blandit ac, turpis. Pellentesque tincidunt nonummy dolor. Quisque dui ipsum, aliquam vitae, pulvinar et, sollicitudin in, orci. Fusce auctor ante a odio.
How is she doing these things? Do the colors work? This and more throughout the day! Fun new things to play with! Hooray!
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Which do you like better? You can use either!
Donec vitae odio id leo elementum interdum. Integer eget mauris sit amet neque porttitor malesuada. Vestibulum eleifend ante a quam. Nullam venenatis, ipsum sed congue luctus, risus nisi sodales urna, sed dapibus leo magna eget neque. Duis placerat. Donec suscipit, sem ac gravida luctus, diam odio luctus metus, vitae pharetra mauris metus vitae pede. Nam tristique erat semper felis. Nulla facilisi. Fusce varius mauris pulvinar tellus. Suspendisse ornare. Donec suscipit odio vel lacus. Aenean adipiscing eros sit amet pede.malesuada. Vestibulum eleifend ante a quam. Nullam venenatis, ipsum sed congue luctus, risus nisi sodales urna, sed dapibus leo magna eget neque. Duis placerat. Donec suscipit, sem ac gravida luctus, diam odio luctus metus, vitae pharetra mauris metus vitae pede. Nam tristique erat semper felis. Nulla facilisi. Fusce varius mauris pulvinar tellus.
Suspendisse ornare. Donec suscipit odio vel lacus. Aenean adipiscing eros sit amet pede.
Love
me
I knew if we were patient, the time would come.
David Vitter (R-LA) is on the DC Madam's list. And, just like Newt, DeLay, and the rest of 'em, it's cool that he cheated on his wife because now he found Jesus.
Poor Louisiana. Katrina, stupid Jefferson and the money in the freezer, and now a Senator who likes the ladies.
Can Vitter stay the course, or will he resign? Stay tuned! I knew it would be a fun week in politics.
To all the Austin Transvestites...
I'm fine. Thanks for your concern.
I meant to thank you earlier. I was vaguely distracted at the time.
Monday, July 9, 2007
This Is What Happens When Congress Flips
So it's not as good as I would have hoped from the title, but it is a video of a German guy getting slapped in the face with a fish for losing a bet about the US mid-term elections. Make of that what you will.
Please ban O'Reilly
When Papa Bear isn't reporting on ticking British time bombs, he's breaking the story of roving bands of pink pistol packing lesbians.
Be careful, my loves, - 150 crews in Maryland and DC alone!
Of course, as Dave from Orcinus reports, O'Reilly's tellin' lies. Again.
Back in Maryland
Apparently, everyone who went to texas posted as soon as they got back. Perhaps to feel better about returning to Maryland, and leaving the greatest state in the union. So, here's mine.
So, you can't say the word "bomb" in an airport. This seems somewhat reasonable to me, in the way that yelling "fire" in a crowded theatre is restricted speech. Saying things that might cause a panic can be restricted. To me, the airport thing seems a bit silly, but whatever. I can accept this mild restriction of my freedoms, and if I couldn't, I would drive. Overall, I'm fine with it.
This, however, leads me to the following question. The day I flew out, two car bombs had been diffused in the UK. Our fear-mongering media, of course, spent a great deal of time trying to scare everyone into continuing watching. Fox news in particular. I know this because, while I was at the airport bar, the TV was tuned to Fox. As the word "bomb" is restricted, can I have Bill O'Riley arrested? Can I have Rupert Murdoch arrested for conspiracy to say "bomb?" Because if so, that would be awesome.
Donations to DCRCC - last chance
Hey, everyone -
This Thursday, July 12, I graduate as a DC Rape Crisis Center volunteer! It's been an intense six weeks. I'm excited that training's almost over, and I get to begin the actual volunteer work! We're still looking for sponsors - if you're interested, there's more information after the jump.
About a month ago, I wrote this post about DCRCC's Dollars for Doers program. It contains all the information you need to make a donation to the Center. You can also call Kim Lopez at 202.232.0789 ext 6005, or print out that form and send it/email it/fax it in. If you have any questions, please just let me know.
Thanks everyone!
Love,
Kel
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Amazing
Check this out - most Americans want impeachment hearings against Cheney and Bush.
Looks like another interesting week in politics! Hopefully other pollsters will replicate the findings.
Friday, July 6, 2007
Guy who thinks "rape" is a buzzword running for Senate
But it's my blog, so do what you want.
I kid, I kid. It's our blog.
Check out who's running for Tim Johnson's Senate seat in South Dakota: the guy who thinks "rape" and "incest" are buzzwords!
Good times.
Happy weekend!!
I hate this woman
I actually couldn't finish reading these transcripts, which are a remarkable testiment to Ann Coulter's relationship with Chris Matthews (of Hardball) because they made me literally, physically, ill.
Thought you might enjoy them.
Browser problems
Last post, and I'm probably out for the day.
Any of you having problems with the blog in the past 24 hours?For example, earlier today I couldn't load the blog at all, and now I can only see 1/2 of my post about the World Bank.
If you are, just shoot me an email and let me know what happened, when it happened, and which browser you were using.
nuraido@gmail.com
Thanks!
Kel
Lisa 2008
Vote for Lisa in 2008 - she's even got Al Gore's endorsement! It's for a good cause, and who wouldn't want Lisa to be pres?
Go to the webpage, vote, and get 5 more people to do the same. It's Friday, you know you're not working anyway!
Anti-globalization, social injustice, and why none of my friends should ever work for the World Bank, IMF, WTO, etc...
Since I started back here on the Hill, I've been hyper-focused on Congress and the "inside the Beltway" nonsense. Earlier today, I was talking to the great Rhondini about the World Bank, and it got my Irish up. My strictly-regulated break time expired without us reaching a resolution, so I promised her a post about the nascent evils of the IMF and World Bank. Here we are.
First of all, the World Bank is extremely good at selling themselves. Salon had a nice article the other day about how my good friends at the WB are trying to make the blogosphere work for them. It's been a while since I've read an article on the evils of the World Bank that wasn't hyper-focused on how much Wolfie was payin' people to date him.
In case ya couldn't tell, this is a biased post: I am anti-globalization. I oppose the World Bank's policies of privatization, deregulation, and trade liberalization. I consider globalized capital to be the cause of crippling poverty, water and resource wars, environmental degradation, and the spread of contagious disease in the South and the "developing" world. Of course, the World Bank isn't alone: they couldn't pull off their nefarious deeds without the help of the other soldiers in the army of globalization: the IMF, WTO, G8, and all the good folks who attend the World Economic Forum. Today's focus is the WB, though.
Johann Hari, another one of my future husbands (don't tell Keith Olbermann and an outstanding columnist for The Independent, chronicles some of the stories of World Bank victims. As the World Bank requires developing countries to privatize industry and open their economy up to free markets, hundreds of thousands of people are left starving and without clean water. Hari writes: The bank's own former chief economist, Nobel Prize-winner Joseph Stiglitz, says this approach "has condemned people to death... They don't care if people live or die."
There are a million individual examples of the World Bank's evil practices. Here are a couple:
Haitian rice farmers
Mozambique's cashew nut processing industry
The oil for arms deal in Chad
Latin American water rights
Human rights in Indonesia
The matter gets worse. On top of structural policies that create poverty and destroy local industry, The World Bank also steals money from impoverished countries. I'm actually going to read the Social Watch Report from 2006 on the metro ride home tonight, but here's the punch line: the World Bank takes more money from developing countries than it provides. Can you explain how stealing money from poor countries eradicates poverty? I'm curious. New math, I suppose.
The result is that poor countries get poorer. Peter Goodman, writing for the San Francisco Chronicle, notes that the living conditions of folks in the poorest countries have worsened over the past decade "despite" World Bank efforts: But the evaluation group study found that growth has rarely been sustained, exposing the most vulnerable people -- the rural poor -- to volatile shifts in their economic fortunes. Only two in five of the countries that borrowed from the World Bank saw per capita incomes rise continuously from 2000 to 2005, the study reported, and only one in five saw increases for the full decade from 1995 to 2005.
The study emphasized that economic growth is, by itself, no fix: How the gains are distributed is just as important. In China, Romania, Sri Lanka and many Latin American countries, swiftly expanding economies have improved incomes for many, but the benefits have been limited by a simultaneous increase in economic inequality, putting the spoils into the hands of the rich and not enough into poor households, the study concludes.
The good news is that people have noticed, and environmental, fair trade, social justice, and women's rights organizations have organized into an anti-globalization movement (Most notably, of course, in Seattle in 1999). There are some indications, particularly in Latin America, that the popular anti-globalization sentiment are translating into electoral politics. Laura Carlson argues that protests and the recent elections of socialist leaders in Latin America are an important sign of the rising populist voice. A predominant theme of the Latin American anti-globalization movement is their overwhelming desire to disentangle from the IMF/WB.
Although Venezuela's Hugo Chavez (despite his utter weirdness) and Bolivia's (much more likable) Evo Morales continue to fight the good fight, they are among the few international leaders who are willing to stand up to the IMF and World Bank. So here we are. Wolfie's out, Zoellick's in charge, and it's time to reject the World Bank and usher in a golden era of populism.