Why I've been MIA

Here's an apology to you fine people for depriving you of my irresistible charm and inimitable wit.

I have no real excuse. I really don't. I find that at the ripe old age of 24, my Internet trolling has reached it's peak. I honestly check maybe 10 websites regularly, and once I've made my rounds, it's off to checking my email for the 21348th time that day. I can't explain why this is true.

But, my lack of browsing-savvy did pay off in one very crucial way: my housemates and I have finally decided on our Halloween costume. And I must say, it's completely and totally BAD ASS. I, of course, can't tell you what it is. You'll just have to wait for the photos.

One other update on my life: it was my housemate's 25th birthday this past Friday. And in true frat fashion, the Southern Belles hosted "The Dirty Dirty," complete with 2 kegs, tray upon tray of jello shot, and of course, unending debauchery. I would venture to say that at it's peak, the guests numbered over 125 . Not bad for a few law ladies in the Midwest, eh?

The party went off with a hitch, except for some d-bag from the Social Work school who was SITTING ON MY KEG. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, he was SITTING ON MY KEG. WHO DOES THAT? SERIOUSLY?! And, he was making the ladies at the event supremely uncomfortable by leering at them and asking them to "pump his keg." UNACCEPTABLE.

I kindly asked him to remove himself from MY keg. 3 times. And it didn't work. At this point, the Shweenerator got pissed. I mean REAL pissed. And for those of you who know me, ol' girl don't play. (DMA/Tommy: remember the incident with your brother at Buffalo Billiards? Yeah, that was me on Friday night.)

After some serious verbal exchanges, Sitting Guy started lurching toward me, at which point I was about to slug him. Instead, he put flipped me off and screamed some choice profanity. But there was no violence, and the partygoers (who were invited) were appreciative.

Bottom line of this silly story: should law school not pan out, I definitely foresee a career in bouncing.