Run-in with the most pathetic would-be robber in B.A.

I have lived an robber-free life ever since my bicycle was snatched from the neighborhood pool one afternoon when I was 10. Sadly, this streak ended yesterday.

I was walking down the street in my neighborhood, in the middle of the afternoon, minding my own business. I was reading a book, which I am apt to do while I am walking. Nonchalantly, a guy about my age approached me from behind and started strolling with me.

I thought I was about to get hit on. Turns out the only hitting would be done by me. He had his hand stuck under his jacket, and he says to me, ever-so-casually (and in Spanish of course): "I have a gun under my jacket. Don't say anything, just give me all your money."

I was stunned, but I was also 98% sure that he didn't have a gun under his close-fitting jacket. I stammered (in Spanish), "I'm sorry, what are you talking about?" He thought I just hadn't heard him, correctly, so he repeated his spiel. To simplify matters, he slowly said, "Give me the money in your bag" while pointedly jabbing at my bag.

I said, very politely, "I'm sorry, I don't understand anything that you're saying." He stared at me in disbelief, and he finally realized that I was a foreigner and very likely could not understand anything he was saying. Apparently this complicated things a bit too much for him, or maybe he just had a sense of humor, because my would-be robber cracked up and tried to pat me on the back. At this point, I was disgusted by the whole interaction, and I hit his arm to get him off of me (I know, probably not the smartest thing for me to do).

Surprised, he backed off and hopped onto a bus. This guy is such a scum bag. Apparently his schtick is to walk around in the middle of the day, in nice neighborhoods, targeting women walking by themselves. All in all, the whole thing really pissed me off, but unfortunately this is one of the sad consequences of a country in the middle of such massive economic problems. Luckily, my accent was bad enough to save me from harm.