What I've Learned in this Morning's News

Good morning kids, here's what's going on in the world today:

The Iowa Department of Revenue has decided to tax jack-o-lanterns, stating that people are using them for decoration instead of food. Aren't they pumpkins before they're jack-o-lanterns? Pumpkins are food, I just had a pumpkin for breakfast!

A woman in Minnesota may be suing her pet sitter, claiming that the pet sitter made her pig fat... I didn't know pigs could be un-fat... hmmm, gonna search the web for svelte pigs, I'll get back to you.

A northern city in China has banned "seductive" marriage ads in order to reduce fraud (yeah, I don't get it either). Advertisers are banned from using such sexy words as "foxy lady" (instant pantie-dropper) and "moneybags" (I'm taking off my clothes as we speak).

You may check out more glorious stories at: http://mistupid.com/news/index.php