Glorious insults...

This from Fodder, our absentee blogger (and roommate) who is too busy being engaged to give HON much love these days. He says: "These glorious insults are from an era when cleverness with words was still valued, before a great portion of the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words." Too fuckin right. Here's my favorite, and then the rest of after the jump.

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."
-Paul Keating


The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said, "If you were my
husband I'd give you poison," and he said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli: "Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "on whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy."
-Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill

"A modest little person, with much to be modest about."
-Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great
pleasure."
-Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary."
-William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).

"Poor Faulkner. Does he really think big emotions come from big words?"
-Ernest Hemingway (about William Faulkner)

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading
it."
-Moses Hadas

"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know."
-Abraham Lincoln

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it."
-Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends"
-Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a
friend....if you have one."
-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is one."
-Winston Churchill, in response.

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
-Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
-John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself, he is the cause of dullness in others."
-Samuel Johnson

"There's nothing wrong with you that reincarnation won't cure."
-Jack E. Leonard

"They never open their mouths without subtracting from the sum of human knowledge."
-Thomas Brackett Reed

"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go."
-Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support rather than illumination."
-Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
-Groucho Marx