I love warmth. I constantly and actively seek warmth. I have accumulated along the years an extensive arsenal in my quest to keep my body at or above 98.6 degrees.
I get out my long johns around October. I have been known to wear them for weeks at a time underneath my clothes. Sometimes I wash them. I wear my skiing socks 6 months out of the year, and god knows I am not skiing 6 months out of the year. I have 6 jackets to combat varying levels of chilliness, and I choose said jackets based on daily analyses of various weather websites. The most extreme choice within the jacket hierarchy is a full-length down-filled waterproof parka. It has a hood. I have beaucoups of blankets (yes, some are electric). Drawers full of sweaters, scarfs, hats, and gloves. I really like to be warm.
And I am stepping it up a notch. The next battle in my war on cold is very specific: my arms get cold when I read, yet I become too hot (and lose my reading light) if I completely submerge myself under a blanket. Pete was perceptive about my quandary (he mainly deduced it because I said about 5 times a day, "I wish I had some blanket device to warm my arms while I read.") and invested in my latest warmth-giving product: a slanket. A slanket, if you could not deduce this, is a blanket with sleeves. It looks like this:
Peter says that I am going to look like an insane monk. I say that will only add to the appeal. However, it appears that there is an even more extreme heating product out there: the selk bag. It combines the thickness of a sleeping bag with the form of a jumpsuit. I think I'm in love.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
My Ongoing Love Affair with Warmth
I love warmth. I constantly and actively seek warmth. I have accumulated along the years an extensive arsenal in my quest to keep my body at or above 98.6 degrees.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Wonkette reads HON!
Happy State of the Union Day!!!
State of the Union day is my favorite holiday of the year. We lay down some ground rules and we drink ourselves silly as we listen to an hour of Bushspeak. Of course, all the predictable rules apply: terrorism=drink. nuculer (or any other pronunciation) = drink freedom/liberty/democracy=drink.
Each year, though, we try to keep up with the times and spice things up a little. Mathgimp's already established two rules: a) any further mention of human-animal hybrids merits a car bomb and b) we drink whenever the word "bubble" is uttered. I just consulted the good folks at WaPo, and here are a few more:
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Two amusing sites today...
Seriously, I love metafiliter.
The first is just plain funny. From the page:
"Oh God. Oh dear God in heaven no. Your first instinct will be to repeatedly jab a pinecone in your eyes, but please try to understand Pepsi's mindset. First, they were almost definitely drunk. Secondly, they knew that the internet was in some way related to computers, so the idea was to make their website very evocative of a computer. I'm not convinced they understood what a computer was, but when they closed their eyes and thought about computers, this monstrosity is what popped into their drunken heads."
The second is just plain awesome. No quote, but if you ever liked a video game, give it a click.
Update: Well, not really a new site, per se, but a new spin on one. We've apparently pissed the internet off something fierce....
Saturday, January 26, 2008
This is my life
I show Pete a picture of Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony, stylized by Annie Lebowitz for a Disney promotion.
Me: "Do you know who that is?"
Peter: "I don't know" He studies the picture. "Aladdin?"
Me: "No, darling. They're celebrities. What celebrities are they?"
Pete: Squints at the picture again. "I don't know. I honestly don't know."
Me: "Peter, that's Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony."
Peter: "Ohhh...ok. Ok. I mean, I don't know. How should I know? You know, I thought for a second it was that man from Pirates and the Caribbean...no, no...not Johnny Depp. The young one. What's his name? You know, Ham Sandwich...[he mumbles names of 4-5 photographers. I don't know why]...is it Freddie Prinze Junior? You know, for a second I was going to guess that the woman was Mariah Carey...Ohhh, ok. Ok. So that's J Lo. That's J Lo? That's the Lo."
Me: Sitting in stunned silence.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Bible Readers Only Slightly Worse at the SAT than Non-Readers
A guy scraped the Facebook lists of top ten favorite books at schools from around the country, then he correlated those with the average SAT/ACT scores for those students. The results [in handy graph form]: the best test takers only like Lolita and 100 Years of Solitude. The worst like Zane (I have no idea what that is, but it looks like it's maybe an erotica/romance author.) Oddly, fans of The Holy Bible (also, Nervous, Farenheit 451, The Color Purple, True to the Game, Flyy Girl, Addicted, and B More Careful) scored lower than those who simply remarked "I Don't Read."
What exactly is "egregious"?
"Nine city employees in the District of Columbia have been fired for using government computers to visit an "egregious" number of pornographic Web sites in 2007."
My vote is 42. [pc world]
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Superpowers come next...
This is really freaking cool. Or scary, as she may become an unstoppable killing machine next. It's really 50/50 either way.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
What does Jesus do?
Three of my friends from Austin started a website documenting Jesus' daily life. It's pretty hysterical and sure to piss off the religious extremists in your life. Here's the blurb: "Check it...Jesus is sick of all the bullshit. Christmas is not his birthday...he doesn’t hate fags...oh yeah, and he’s black. We of team jesus productions (tjpro) have been hired to document his daily life in an effort to show you…the people…what Jesus does."
Here's the link. Spread the love.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Saturday, January 19, 2008
My Birthday Party ended in Assault
I don't have the energy to tell the whole story yet, but here is the review that I submitted to washingtonpost.com
Friday, January 18, 2008
Vaginas Unite
So...I tried out for a role in my school's production of the Vagina Monologues, and I got a rocking part. I will present the monologue, "The Angry Vagina." Except my version of it is more neurotic and confused. Get yourself to DC on Feb. 12, 13, or 14 if you can. Below the fold are the first two paragraphs of my monologue to get you excited. Also, I showed my monologue to my grandmother and she is very concerned and wants to know if I can be recast. My grandpa loves it.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
So I turned 25 today, and I understood irony
It's getting a speeding ticket on the day you become, demographically speaking, a lower-risk, safer driver. At least my insurance is dropping, so that'll cancel out the defensive driving costs. Net gain for Joey! Fortunately, I'm in a good enough mood that I'm still really enjoying the idea of it all.
Also, now that the blog is faster, I'm wiser, and I've dropped some freelance gigs, I'll try to start posting more often.
Peter van Agtmael Press Release - Issue #1
Here is the interview Pete did with a prominent photo blogger, which was also posted on PopPhoto.com.
He also started working with abcnews.com. Here is the first piece he did (an article and 2 slideshows!), and here is the slideshow that just got published.
Another blogger posted his bathroom graffiti pics, which I find really interesting.
And last but not least, here is his new website that he just got up.
FYI
If any of you have some late Xmas shopping for someone you don't like, I have found your solution.
I hope you all like me.
Also, they are very clear. They can not ensure that the product is completely mite free.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Creative employment
So, I'm currently unemployed. In reality, I'm just biding time until the exciting portions of my life begin: namely, June's trip to Eastern Europe and then getting out of Maryland and going to grad school.
Until, then, sadly, mathgimp continues to expect me to pay rent. A friend of mine knows someone who makes 6 figures as a Craigslist "prospector," so I figured "why not me?" As I build the "legitimate" portions of my self-unemployment (tutoring, editing, writing), I need short-term money. Here are my most recent creative employment ideas. The first was a bust, but I'm pretty proud of the last two.
What shall we name the movement?
There's been talk for some time of the Tex-odus from Austin to the great white north. That Guy's morning post, however, points to a term not so easily coined - how do we escape the Mary Land? Mar-exodus doesn't have a nice ring to it. If we're all finally getting the heck outta here, what can we call that? And where will we go?
We need a name for our budding diaspora. That's all I'm sayin.
Raise your hand if you hate Maryland
It's no secret that many, if not most, of us attached to this blog absolutely despise the great state of Maryland with every fiber of our being. If I'm wrong, of if this does not apply to you, stop reading here.
Some Late Night Hacking
Some Late Night Amusement
So I talked to my friend Emily tonight (some of you know her from high school), and she pointed me to her blogs. She's a clerk for a federal judge, and the second one is about the law. Or something. I expect all of the freaking lawyers who read this blog to explain it to me.
After the jump, a couple of samples that I found amusing.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
The moment you've all been waiting for...
Shortly after Halloween, four boys, including my brother and two of your absentee blog authors, embarked on the great Beard Off of 2007, and decided not to shave until January 2, 2008. I have for you, complete with picture goodness, the results of this endeavor:
Monday, January 14, 2008
Sign that I should stop living out of a suitcase
Today I wore a pair of socks on my hands in place of mittens.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
oh yeah/oh hell yeah
Pete and I exited the subway at the Penn Station stop. As we did so, I was moved to sing: "You are so beautiful, to me."
No, Pete. I am singing about a bus.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Lapsed Catholics Unite!!!
I'm sure this will be overturned, but I'm still stunned. Good god. Pun intended.
Friday, January 4, 2008
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Maryland: Smaller than Denmark
It would appear that Maryland Legislators are just as lame as their state. In their defense, though, many states appear to do such things. Although perhaps this makes Maryland both lame and tardy, since they haven't taken care of it yet. Losers.
PS: The headline comes from the saying "Texas: Bigger than France" (pointing out the awesomeness of Texas), and this site. Mock your least favorite state in new and exciting ways!