It's no secret that many, if not most, of us attached to this blog absolutely despise the great state of Maryland with every fiber of our being. If I'm wrong, of if this does not apply to you, stop reading here.
So you've decided to keep reading. Which means you also hate Maryland. Sure, we all came here on our own recognizance, but it was all a ploy to lure us in and suffocate us until all hope is gone. Given the fact that so many of us would give our left testicle/breast to get out of this god-forsaken place, why the hell are we all still here? Is Maryland some kind of cesspool/quicksand/black hole? Is it true that not even light can escape Maryland, and the harder we try to escape it the more it sucks us in until we are finally neck deep in shit? Why, oh WHY people, can we not get out of this place??? I say 2008 is the year that we all find our freedom and say goodbye to this death trap. I'll drink to that!
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Raise your hand if you hate Maryland
Some Late Night Hacking
Mac users should note: people are sometimes bastards, and are starting to screw with mac users.
With these, it's all social engineering. That means they don't hack your machine, but trick you into downloading and installing programs that will hack your machine. So, if you don't click the "install" button, you're fine (unlike unpatched windows machines). Anyways, be somewhat careful about what you install from now on....
Some Late Night Amusement
So I talked to my friend Emily tonight (some of you know her from high school), and she pointed me to her blogs. She's a clerk for a federal judge, and the second one is about the law. Or something. I expect all of the freaking lawyers who read this blog to explain it to me.
After the jump, a couple of samples that I found amusing.
The first is her normal blog. Living in Corpus Christi, TX , I'm kinda amazed that one can generate any interesting stories (while it's in Texas, it's not renowned for it's hilarious stories), but apparently it's possible. Who knew. For those who wonder why I don't have amusing stories about life in maryland, please try to remember that I'm in maryland. My amusing stories involve other states.
The second is a dissection of terrible legal writing. Those of you who like reading legal writing may find the writing itself funny. Personally, even the writing that wasn't being mocked was incomprehensible to me. However, the commentary was hilarious. Here's one that's short and sweet that I liked.
PS: In case you missed my earlier post: doooooooooooooooooomed!!!!!
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
The moment you've all been waiting for...
Shortly after Halloween, four boys, including my brother and two of your absentee blog authors, embarked on the great Beard Off of 2007, and decided not to shave until January 2, 2008. I have for you, complete with picture goodness, the results of this endeavor:
So the boys were really, really hairy before New Years. 
Then, horror struck with the birth of the molestache: (h/t to Lisa!!) 
What shocks me about these pictures is the sheer variety of creepy they're able to produce with a razor. From left to right: Escaped psychopath residing in trailer park; Daniel Day Lewis/Ol'West; Turn of the century Irish pugilist/70s pedophile; and Hitler meets Charlie Chaplin.
Here are a few more: 
But just so you can sleep tonight, here's the cutest picture on my camera so far: two of your Maryland-based blog authors embracing
Monday, January 14, 2008
Sign that I should stop living out of a suitcase
Today I wore a pair of socks on my hands in place of mittens.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
oh yeah/oh hell yeah
Pete and I exited the subway at the Penn Station stop. As we did so, I was moved to sing: "You are so beautiful, to me."
No, Pete. I am singing about a bus.
Not just any bus. The beautiful bus in the world, or as I describe it (rant) to fellow riders (strangers), "It's a gift from heaven!"
A gift from heaven it is. It is a brand new deluxe bus, with a sparkling clean bathroom. In the rear of the bus, there are 8 seats set up around tables, where you can conveniently set up your laptop. "Why would you want to set up your laptop on the bus?" you query.
BECAUSE THERE IS INTERNET ON THE BUS.
That's right, suckers. Internet on the bus. Are you beginning to weep from joy? I kind of am. What's more, they give you a bottle of water for the ride. AND it costs no more ($40 round trip) than a Chinatown or Greyhound bus.
And, the cherry on the sundae (for me, anyway) is that this very special bus drops me off in Dupont Circle, one block from my apartment.
It's really too much for me. And because I am so gracious, I will give you all the chance to start your own special relationship with this bus line. Cherish it; it may not be here forever.
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Lapsed Catholics Unite!!!
I'm sure this will be overturned, but I'm still stunned. Good god. Pun intended.
Friday, January 4, 2008
MIA
It's been awhile, I know.
I have myriad excuses, some of them good, some not so good. My good excuses are a) that I am not, at the present time, Stuck in Maryland, which gives me a reason to live beyond the blog. b) the only folks posting OR commenting these days are mathgimp and I (with the occasional surprise appearance by fodder) but we all live in the same house so we can talk to each other instead of post...but then I have strange experiences...like on New Years where multiple people come up to me to tell me they read the blog daily, and miss the frequent updates. So, absentee HONers, you are missed.
Regardless, I have an amazing photo series to publish sometime in the very near future - I'm just waiting on an email to make it complete. Other than that, Austin is wonderful. I had dinner with a friend I hadn't seen in three years - I predicted we'd only last an hour, and we spent four and a half discussing Nietzsche, politics, and rhetorical theory. You may had died of boredom, but I was in heaven.
And, of course, the Iowa caucus was tonight. I predicted Obama and Huck for first (although those words are appearing all over ze interveb, it's true for me). I find the Clinton/Edwards tie somewhat fascinating...the way the media will spin this (devastating loss for Clinton? strong finish for Edwards? air of inevitability for Obama?) will be interesting...just so long as we don't start rehearsing "President Huckabee." Now that's some scary shit.
Alright bedtime for me, and then pictures to follow soon. I love and miss you all.
me
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
Maryland: Smaller than Denmark
It would appear that Maryland Legislators are just as lame as their state. In their defense, though, many states appear to do such things. Although perhaps this makes Maryland both lame and tardy, since they haven't taken care of it yet. Losers.
PS: The headline comes from the saying "Texas: Bigger than France" (pointing out the awesomeness of Texas), and this site. Mock your least favorite state in new and exciting ways!