Wednesday morning updates

Today is a jumbled sort of day, me thinks. I left my wallet at home, but remembered my lunch. I could only do half the crossword and half of sudoku before I got bored. I kept mixing up the six different passwords I need to log onto my computer at work. It's Wednesday. There are some things I know for sure, however.

1. Response was muted to both my turtle story and Smed's hilarious suicide via llamas story (What? No animal lovers in the crowd?). Lisa, our sole commenter, asks "is that photoshop? surely not real...but what if it was??!" I am delighted to make Lisa's morning just a little bit better by reporting that, to the best of my knowledge, the story's real. Not only did I first read it in the famed Washington Post Express, but reputable sources such as USA Today, Yahoo News, and AZCentral.com are all reporting that a pet shop in Norristown, PA does in fact have the conjoined twin turtles. The turtle is the size of a silver dollar, has a set of feet on either side, but just one set of back feet and one tail. I think it might be my totem animal. If only I had waited another month to get my tattoo....

2. The second thing I know for sure is that I am crazy excited to be leaving for Texas on Friday. I need to get out of this state for a few days.

3. I also know that I will never understand the deep intricacies and mysteries of the DC metro system. I don't know why they have to raise prices again to continue to provide shittier service than any other developing country in the world at a much higher price. I don't know why they're planning to install LCD screens in stations, but my only guess is they think if we can watch TV, we won't notice that we've paid $5.00 to wait 45 minutes for a damn train.

But even though I wouldn't let the transportation board plan a lobster dinner for my five worst enemies, I generally trust my fellow commuters (if not the tourists) to help me maintain a sense of normalcy. But lately, I've had this experience. Extremely large men who sit on the opposite end of the train from me and insist on blaring Celine Dion, Mariah Carey, or Whitney Houston so loudly that the rest of the train can literally hear every word. Why? Why? Why? I miss my iPod, which was stolen on the metro. The metro giveth music, and also taketh away.

Come to think of it, 4: Even though I covet my metro bubble of aloneness, the metro is slowly killing all that's good in my life.

5. Scrabble on Facebook will be my undoing.

6. Arrrg. Mark Danielewski [of House of Leaves and Only Revolutions fame] is speaking at Olsson's tonight in Dupont. I really want to go, but have no wallet and no copies of my books by him. Perhaps roommate Sarah can come to the rescue.

7. Now we've devolved into nothing but my random thoughts... I'll be back later.

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