Airplanes!

Here's a simple brain teaser (via metafilter).

A plane is standing on a runway that can move (some sort of conveyer belt). The plane moves in one direction, while the conveyer moves in the opposite direction. This conveyer has a control system that tracks the plane speed and tunes the speed of the conveyer to be exactly the same (but in the opposite direction). Can the plane take off?

What do you think? Also, do you think I got the right answer initially (what with all the physics)?

The answer, after the jump. But think about it first!




Yup, the plane will take off just fine. I initially thought the plane wouldn't take off, but I was wrong.

An explaination is here.
Further explaination here.
Yet another one here.

The last one is a bit more rude, with quotes like "I could understand a random high school dropout being fooled by this, but a pilot?" Screw you, pal. I get the aerodynamics, but I don't spend a lot of time thinking about airplane wheels.

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Hilarity

What's better than GRE math AND Halloween being a month away? Halloween math puns!
(After the jump)

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In other delicious fall news...

For some reason I'm crazy excited about fall this year. I can't wait for the leaves to change, and I like the feeling of the weather ever so slowly getting cooler.

Yesterday, I kicked of my fall fitness fanaticism, where I did an hour of yoga and then swam for 45 minutes. The results? Every muscle in my body hurts, and I have a cold. I'm going to power through though. I will conquer the aching muscles.

To reward myself, I dug out Smed's delicious African Yam Stew recipe. This is absolutely one of my favorite recipes, and I'm going to make it tonight (yummmm). I thought you guys might love it.

Says Smed:
This is based on a recipe called "Pea Chop (Peanut and Chicken Stew)
(Africa)" from the "Peanuts" section of Jeff Smith's "The Frugal
Gourmet Cooks American." In his blurb, he explains why this is
relevent to put in a book about American cooking. Good enough.
Unfortunately, he doesn't say where in Africa the recipe came from, so
I can't vouch for its authenticity since even he doesn't. Therefore, I
feel no remorse at all in tweaking the recipe to make it vegan and add
yams and potatoes and peppers and whatever else catches my whim. (And
if you know me, you know that my cooking style is very whim-based, and
thus it's a challenge for me to actually write down a recipe. But
then, if you know me, you also know that I love a challenge.)

Serves 6 hungry people.

Ingredients:

1 box "So Soya" defatted soy protein (or you could use a pound of
tofu, or some tempeh, or TVP, or your favorite beans; some kinda
protein)
1/2 - 3/4 c crunchy peanut butter
1 - 2 quarts vegetable broth
2 large yams or sweet potatoes, peeled and chopped into chunks
2 medium potatoes, cleaned and chopped into chunks
other vegetables to your taste; I recommend bell peppers, carrots, mushrooms
fresh hot peppers to your taste, diced; I used Hungarian wax,
jalapeno, and Thai chilies from Clio and Andy's garden (if you can't
get fresh peppers, use a small can of jalapenos, or use less than the
whole can if you're timid; you can always put the rest of the can out
on the table for people to add to their own taste)
dill, cumin, oregano, bay leaves, salt, and pepper to your taste
(especially salt)
enough rice to satisfy the number of people you're serving
4 - 5 bananas, peeled and cut in half lengthwise
1 - 2 T vegetable oil (or use butter if you're not vegan)
1/2 - 3/4 c chopped peanuts
1 can pineapple chunks
4 oz shredded coconut
Preparation:

If using So Soya or TVP: heat 4 cups of veggie broth to near-boiling,
and pour over the So Soya or TVP. Set aside for 15 minutes.

Cut the yams and potatoes (and other vegetables) into chunks. If you
are pressed for time, microwave the yams, potatoes, and carrots for 5
minutes or so to soften them -- not to mushiness, just till they cut
easily with a spoon.

Stir 1/2 c or so of broth into the peanut butter and mix well.

Put the So Soya (or other protein thang), the vegetables, the peanut
sauce, and some more broth into a large soup pot. Add finely chopped
hot peppers, salt, dill, cumin, oregano, bay leaves, etc. Bring to a
near-boil, then simmer for at least half an hour. (You'll need an hour
or more if you've not pre-softened the potatoes et al.) If you want it
thicker, add some water to cornstarch in a separate bowl and add to
the stew. Start with 3 T cornstarch and 1/2 c water. Get all the lumps
out, then stir quickly into the stew.

While the stew is simmering, toast the coconut on a cookie sheet at
375 degrees until just turning golden. Don't burn it! This goes
quickly; keep an eye on it.

Also while the stew is simmering, sautee the bananas in vegetable oil
(peanut oil if you have it), or use butter if you're not vegan.

To serve:

Serve this stew buffet style. Each person puts some rice down on their
plate, then stew on top of that, then bananas, pineapple, chopped
peanuts, and toasted coconut. I also put out some extra diced hot
peppers for those who like it really hot!

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Hedgehogs and idiots.

Happy Friday, HONers! We made it through another week, squirrels, fruit-sniffing dogs, and all. Today's a good internet day -- read all about it after the jump!

First, disgusting fuckhead of the day is profiled here. It's easy to name this attorney the worst man in America. What amazes me more though is that there are, apparently, forums for mothers to sell sex with their daughters. Absolutely awful.

In more sad news, a woman fabricates a complicated, amazing story about her escape from the WTC on 9/11, and then dedicates her life to helping survivors. I have complicated feelings about this story. Does it matter that she made it all up? She didn't earn money, and she helped a lot of people. Clearly this is pathological attention/gratification seeking behavior. It kind of seems like a merger of PTSD and Munchausen Syndrome. Very odd.

In odder, but perhaps happier news, did you guys know that babies are sometimes born with TAILS? I didn't. Learn something new. Thanks to Metafilter for fronting this amazing revelation.

Adorable pictures of the day are of confused British hedgehogs.

Bastards of the day --- this will shock you --- the devestating INS/IRS duo of doom. Aren't there terrorists to harass, instead of this poor dishwasher? Give him his money, let him go buy land on a mountain, and stop spending my tax dollars on prosecuting people who work harder than most legal American workers.

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Squirrels And Up Are Safe

So my new house on Austin's East Side is awesome--Awesome!--and you should all come visit. It does, however, have a few maintenance issues. Our management company was kind enough to send out Bear to take care of them. Bear, who looks like a mildly reformed Hell's Angel, usually comes by in the morning while I'm still working from home, sitting at my computer in a bathrobe with a cup of coffee. I don't think it bothers him, though. When I opened the door the first time, I stood out on the lawn with Bear with said coffee in said bathrobe and had a 15 minute conversation about how my motorcycle was or was not safely parked on the street.

Bear cleared out a bunch of trash left by the previous tenants, filled in a bunch of holes left from sheet rock screws, fixed some ceiling tiles in my room, etc., etc., etc. He also killed a family of rats.

We knew we had rats. We knew we needed to get rid of them. I was mostly okay with that. I don't eat meat, but I'm also not keen on getting the bubonic plague. So the little bastards can die to save me. Bear, however, takes a gleefully exuberant approach to his job that's mingled with a mix of terror every time he actually sees a rat.

The first one was killed when he lifted up a tile in the hallway to place a trap. It fell down and hit him on his face before he swatted it across the hall to the bathroom floor with his 2-foot Maglight while screaming bloody murder. "Get me the shovel, Joe," he kept saying to his assistant. "I'm gonna get it." By the time Joe got there with the shovel, Bear had massacred the little plague carrier with his flashlight and calmly scooped him into a garbage bag.

The second one got killed by a trap. It took ten minutes for Bear and Joe to coordinate the elaborate process of pulling it down from the ceiling into a bag without actually touching the rat. He explained to me this morning, while repeating the process for a third rat, that the first two were probably the parents.

"That's kind of sad," I said.

"No, no, it's cool," said Bear. "We only kill rats. Sometimes mice. Squirrels and up are safe."

That, my friends, is the exterminator's taxonomy.

Bear killed five more rats today. All with his bare hands. The man is a hulking angel of death. I'm kind of honored to have him in our home.

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All's been quiet around HON lately.

But if Smed can keep us posted from the Andes, we can all do better.

Here are some misc. updates:

First, with next to no hitches, Super Awesome Fun Week was super, awesome, and fun! On Friday night we saw Walking with Dinosaurs, and then Kris entertained us with stories of his badass Russian family over some delicious Russian wine. Saturday, bright and early, we headed out to the Yuengling Brewery. It's an absolutely beautiful drive through PA, and the brewery itself is really neat - America's Oldest Brewery, and so there were lots of neat stories about prohibition and stuff.

We then headed to Ringing Rocks State Park, where we, as promised, definitely climbed rocks and hit them with hammers so they rang like bells. It was beautiful, and the rocks were really cool. Sadly, mathgimp had been sick all day, so we headed back after that so as not to infect the NYC crowd.

Since then, I've been in crazy productive mode, trying to balance everything related to working/teaching/applying/volunteering/editing/GREing. Here's the count down of my life:

9 days: Austin trip!!!
38 days: GRE of doom
44 days: Last day at CRS
50 days: Jstew and nuraido tour the NE!!!!
58 days: Thanksgiving
64 days: First application due
87 days: I am completely unemployed.

Good times!

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Crossing the Andes

Pete and I had quite the time getting from Argentina to Chile.

We didn´t reserve a spot on a bus in advance; the owners of the hotel we were staying at told us that we could show up at any time because there would be buses leaving all day. Boy, were they wrong. We showed up at 9:30AM (quite proud of ourselves for the early start) to find almost every bus going to Chile left at 8:30AM. After checking with 3 different companies, to no avail, we realized that we might be in for some trouble.

Finally, approximately 9-10 companies later, we found a minibus company that sold us 2 tickets to Santiago, Chile (it wasn´t even the destination we wanted, but at that point we were too desperate to care). It turned out that our seats were up front with the driver. Cozy, to say the least, and definitely the best view of the house.

When we were pulling out, the woman who sold us the tickets ran out, and said something really fast in Spanish to me, and then the Spanish version of OK GREAT BYE!
I got her to repeat it, and I finally figured out that she wanted us to share our two seats with someone else - she said not to worry because it would be a small boy. The entire trip Pete and I were on the look out for the mystery niño who apparently was going to sit on our laps through the Andes. It turned out a 12 year old kid did get on the minibus in Chile, but we made him sit on the floor (sorry niño).

Although I was slightly terrified of the driving (the entire road through the Andes only has one lane on each side, and our driver loooooved the blind pass technique), the trip was absolutely beautiful. The Argentine side of the Andes was covered in snow, and the weather couldn´t have been better.

The border was both pretty annoying (long lines) but also amusing. The Chileans were really, really serious about not letting foreign fruits and vegetables into their country. They had trained dogs crawling around everywhere on the veggie alert! They chose Pete´s bag as a ´practice´ for one of the dogs. I guess he looked innocent (read: he looked like a gringo). A border guard cut an apple in half, took a big bite out of it, and shoved it under Pete´s bag. Then they set the dog loose, the entire line watching expectedly. The dog, a golden retriever, pranced about happily through the luggage. He stopped for a minute above Pete´s bag, gave it a sniff, and proceded to lick my hand until I pet him. Then he trotted off. Moral of the story - if you would like to bring any illicit fruits or vegetables into Chile, go for it. The dogs will be none the wiser.

Also, the 8-hour drive through the Andes was the most beautiful road trip I´ve ever taken. I give it 4 Smeds up.

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Quick hello from Chile!

Peter and I successfully crossed the Andes (barely...that trip is a blog post in itself), and we´re currently in Valparaiso, Chile. It´s a beautiful city located on hills overlooking the Pacific Ocean. We´re staying in the cutest hotel with a room overlooking the port. And to get around the city you take elevators up and down the hills. Oh yeah, it also pulls on my ATX heartstrings, as there is a hippie-vibe here - vegetarian propoganda graffitied everywhere around the town. More later!

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So much for being adventurous

I thought paragliding would be a unique and exciting activity. Turns out it is mostly nauseating.

Pete and I decided to go paragliding (floating through the air with the help of a huge parachute) before we head over the border to Chile. We went up into the Andes in a 4x4, and I was pretty nervous. However, Pete had done it before, and he said it would be beautiful once I was in flight.

It's a tandem flight, meaning that I was strapped to a guy who actually knew what he was doing. That made me feel better. The only instruction I received was to not stop running until I went off the cliff. Ok, fine, that was easy enough. I got in the air, and yes, it was beautiful. It felt more like floating than it did like flying.

My interest in the spectacular view of the Andes quickly waned as the queasiness in my stomach intensified. I think the guy with me could tell that I wasn't feeling well, and he tried to chat with me to distract me.

And then, in the beautiful calm of the Western Argentine sky, I THREW UP, a lot, over the shoulder of my guide. It was, to say the least, a bit embarassing. Welcome to the wonderful world of Smed, folks.

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Last cool thing of the day

This is amazing to me -- come Monday, I'm going to learn more about it. So teaser, then fuller post then.

I'm out, y'all! Have a great weekend!

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Dancing guy

I bet a bunch of you have already seen it, but the video made me happy:

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This and that

Dinosaurs are at the top of my agenda today, but I have a few misc thoughts/comments/observations to get us all through this beautiful Friday afternoon.


1. I love me a good protest. I went to the ANSWR protest last weekend, and left with a bad taste in my mouth. No one was particularly motivated or excited; it seemed like an exercise in adolescent rebellion. However, crazy props to the Myanmarian Monks and the Jena 6 crowd: they know how to throw a protest. [Check out the NYT photograph in the link - it's pretty awesome]. I also love the coverage both stories are getting (especially the Jena 6). I think (feel free to flame me) it's relatively in depth, balanced, and insightful. Both protests also show the connection that's possible between online activism and real world action. In short, hero of the day status is awarded to the kick ass monks and civil rights activists.

2. I've been pursuing polling numbers. What I find most interesting: In the ABC/WP poll, only 68% of Republicans describe themselves as "very satisfied" or "somewhat satisfied" with the pool of Republican candidates, (they got Fred - what else could they possibly want?) compared with 78% of Democrats (other than getting Gore, I actually think we have all that we could possibly want. I like our field, and our campaign strategy, more and more). That's a pretty big number of Republican swing voters.

3. Still looking at the polls, I'm always struck by the "never heard of" option to favorability questions. Who are the 1% of Americans who have never heard of Hillary Clinton, but clearly have access to phones (or else they couldn't be polled)? I think it would be sort of cool to be that person, or at least watch how they live their lives for a day. In 2003, we had 217.8 million people age 18 and over - which I suppose means that over 2 million adults have never heard of Hillary. Completely fascinating.

4. Bought my plane ticket home! I'll be in Austin from Oct 5-Oct 9. Yay!!!! Get ready!

5. Registered for the GREs. November 3rd it is. After super-awesome-fun weekend, my life will spiral into "I have three jobs, I'm volunteering, I have to study for the GRES, apply to grad school, and I hate everything" mode. So be warned.

6. Finally, on a happy note, my future husband Keith Olbermann returned to Countdown last night in fine form. I thank all of you for your well wishes and concern during this time of tribulation. Everything's going to be alright.

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Ring o' fun

Welcome to the third day of super-happy-fun week!! This week comprises all of my favorite things.

I would like to draw your attention to this google map, which displays a 500 mile ring of awesomeness:


View Larger Map

On Wednesday, we saw the lovely Regina Spektor in concert. Tonight, we are seeing Walking with Dinosaurs (!!!!). Tomorrow morning, bright and early, we depart for the Yuengling Brewery in Pottsville, PA, and then head east to picnic and bang on rocks with hammers at Ringing Rocks Park in Upper Eddy, PA. Then, on to NYC for the night, and in the morning, we're going to ride roller coasters at Six Flags. I feel like a third grader before Christmas vacation. I am SO excited. Yippee! Super happy fun week begins!

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Pleasant Surprise

Finding out that your university has a two week "study period" before midterms, during which time no classes are held, is pretty awesome. Realizing that this impromptu vacation coincidentally coincides with a visit from your boyfriend; now that takes the cake.

Pete and I had planned on hanging out in Buenos Aires during his visit, so I could attend all of my classes like the diligent student I am. Instead, we're heading off tonight for the western vineyards of Argentina, and then we're going to cross the border into Chile. Pete studied in Valparaiso during college, and he said I would love it. After that we're going to jet up to Northern Chile (and Bolivia) to see geysers, mountains, flamingos, and hot springs. Ain't life grand.

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Make People Do What You Want

I really love it when performance art winds up just being an excuse to fuck with the artist. I know I'm not the only one out there, so I present you with The Girlfriend Experience. "The title of the project, The Girlfriend Experience, denotes the paradoxical character that online social interaction has. On one hand, the safe anonymity by using the avatar, on the other the intimate releases and projections that can spread easily." Whatever, you get to tell people what to do.

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Mr. Romney's pride

Apparently he didn't used to hate the gays quite so much: (From JStew)




He had this to say about Clinton's new health care proposal:

If you’ve seen the report this morning on the latest version of Hillarycare, you’ll see that version 2.0 is not like to have any more success than 1.0... I think she takes her inspiration from European bureaucracies and instead we should take our inspiration from the American people.

Which would be interesting, if it weren't for the fact that:

Key elements of Hillary Clinton's healthcare proposal are strikingly similar to the tenets of the health overhaul that Mitt Romney signed into law in Massachusetts last year.

Does anyone take this man seriously?

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Nobody panic...

My future husband Keith Olbermann is just fine, despite being rushed into surgery on Friday for an emergency appendectomy. To only think...I was sitting in Georgetown eating delicious Indian food, and my husband was bravely fighting for his life.

But, on the bright side, this is yet another thing we have in common. Only 19 some-odd years apart, we both suffered the trauma of losing our appendix. It's meant to be.

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I did it!!

I just finished reading all 971 back issues of the comic "Questionable Content." [Please hold any comments related to lack of life or friends.] It's like an indy-soap opera-anime-comic-with-robots! I am fairly addicted, and now I only have to read one a day!

Seriously, though. Comment and post what you read. We need variety on ze blog.

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Why I've been MIA

Here's an apology to you fine people for depriving you of my irresistible charm and inimitable wit.

I have no real excuse. I really don't. I find that at the ripe old age of 24, my Internet trolling has reached it's peak. I honestly check maybe 10 websites regularly, and once I've made my rounds, it's off to checking my email for the 21348th time that day. I can't explain why this is true.

But, my lack of browsing-savvy did pay off in one very crucial way: my housemates and I have finally decided on our Halloween costume. And I must say, it's completely and totally BAD ASS. I, of course, can't tell you what it is. You'll just have to wait for the photos.

One other update on my life: it was my housemate's 25th birthday this past Friday. And in true frat fashion, the Southern Belles hosted "The Dirty Dirty," complete with 2 kegs, tray upon tray of jello shot, and of course, unending debauchery. I would venture to say that at it's peak, the guests numbered over 125 . Not bad for a few law ladies in the Midwest, eh?

The party went off with a hitch, except for some d-bag from the Social Work school who was SITTING ON MY KEG. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, he was SITTING ON MY KEG. WHO DOES THAT? SERIOUSLY?! And, he was making the ladies at the event supremely uncomfortable by leering at them and asking them to "pump his keg." UNACCEPTABLE.

I kindly asked him to remove himself from MY keg. 3 times. And it didn't work. At this point, the Shweenerator got pissed. I mean REAL pissed. And for those of you who know me, ol' girl don't play. (DMA/Tommy: remember the incident with your brother at Buffalo Billiards? Yeah, that was me on Friday night.)

After some serious verbal exchanges, Sitting Guy started lurching toward me, at which point I was about to slug him. Instead, he put flipped me off and screamed some choice profanity. But there was no violence, and the partygoers (who were invited) were appreciative.

Bottom line of this silly story: should law school not pan out, I definitely foresee a career in bouncing.

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What do you read while you're at work?

Don't lie... all of you go to random websites and blogs when you're bored. What are they?

I'm thinking about redoing the links on the left sidebar, or at least adding to the blogrolls. What do you read and check every day? Tell me!

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Ben is kind of a big deal

This blog has been blissfully debate-free since it's inception, but I figured I would deviate from that norm to brag briefly about Clancy the youngest.

Ben (author of the famed Duet of Dueling Emilys ) is debating at Greenhill this weekend, which is a pretty big tournament. After being undefeated in prelims, he just got his first TOC bid. He'll debate octos in a little bit. Updates throughout the day. Yay, Ben!!!!!!!

Update: Ben won octs, and is now in quarters. Go Ben! I also neglected to mention that he is being coached by Tommy, the most illusive of Clancy siblings around HON.

Update 2: He was a semi-finalist at the tournament, and was 12th place speaker. Congratulations!!

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Reading advice requested

I'm assuming that most of the H.O.N. bunch has seen the article about Ayn Rand in the Times. I read The Fountainhead in high school, but I never attempted Atlas Shrugged, mainly because I know its philosophical premise and disagree with it, and partly because it's massive. Do you think it's worth slogging through anyway? Have y'all read it?

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I am learning to be a proper house wife

My cooking is becoming even more creative (desperate?) as my time here in Buenos Aires progresses.

It started with me buying vegetarian milanesas. Milanesa is a very popular meat product here in the B.A. It's like chicken fried steak, but flatter. And they sell them on the street in sandwiches. (I can sense Joey's mouth watering across all these miles.)

Anyway, I bought some "milanesas soyas" and was trying to think of a way to choke them down. I remembered in elementary school how much I LOVED Chicken Fried Steak Mondays, the entree accompanied by instant mashed potatoes, and everything slathered in gravy.

Of course, one can't head to the local mercado and pick up a jar of gravy here in B.A. So I perused some recipes online for HOMEMADE GRAVY, and finding my pantry lacking key ingredients, just decided to whip up my own version of vegetarian gravy.

I won't bore you with the recipe, because it was nowhere near the deliciousness of vegetarian gravy from a jar. Sorry, sometimes homemade recipes are just subpar. It even congealed into a gelatinous substance once it cooled. But to my starved palatte, it was delicious. I fried up the milanesas, made mashed potatoes, and heated up peas (with onions). On a related note, from now on I'd like to be called Laura Ingalls Wilder.

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Putin Pretends to Fish, Takes Shirt Off to Wow Voters

How has no one posted about this? The sports writer at the Independent blogged about how he's clearly not fishing. The CBC reports (and provides an extra picture) that Russian media is worried this is an attempt to woo voters instead of stepping down at the end of his term. Others say it makes him more of a lame duck. All I want to know is why no one else here saw fit to post a half-naked picture of Putin. You politicos fell down on me.

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Happiness in a Little Yellow Ball (or Two)

You may have seen this already. I just finished reading a Wired article about them, but it's worth re-viewing if you're more in the know than me. They're BeatBots. Little robot blobs designed, supposedly, to study "dance-oriented nonverbal play with between children and the robot Keepon." Know how the scientists are promoting it? With videos of KeepOn rocking to some Spoon, now with high production values:


It's inspired a wave of remixes and people creating their own videos with fake Keepons. My favorite remix is set to Lil' Jon's "Get Low." Nothing like a little yellow robot dancing to (and I'm imagining it shouting in a cute, robot voice) "Ah, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet. Ah, skeet, skeet."

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Wow.

Just.... wow.


Update: oh.

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Outrages of the day

Short summary, then rant below the jump: Mariya Fatima, a 10th grader from Jamaica, Queens, had a stroke at school (as an interesting aside, this is the neighborhood where my mom grew up, and Tommy and I were born). The principal had initiated a ban on 911 calls in an attempt to make the school appear safer. So, no one does anything, and help arrives 90 minutes later. Mariya now has trouble walking, can't use her right hand, and went from being a great student to reading on a 5th grade level.

Oh, and the military can't count to six. Which wouldn't matter, if we weren't talking about nuclear weapons.

I have taught on high school and college campuses for most of my adult(ish) life. I've seen any number of insane and mind boggling rules and regulations and bureaucratic bullshit. I have NEVER in my life heard of a ban on 911 calls for kids experiencing a medical emergency.

What teacher is so desperate to keep her job, or so inured by the protection bureaucracy provides, or so numbed from the violence she sees everyday, that she chooses to do nothing? It is a teacher's job, above all else, to protect the lives and health of children. When in conflict, you choose children's lives over memos and policies, even if it means official reprimands or losing your job. If you have a kid collapsed on the floor in front of you for NINETY MINUTES, you think "fuck this principal and his statistics," and you act to save her life. Every time.

Complete and utter insanity.

In other news, and I sincerely hope this man is wrong, we appear to have "lost" a nuclear warhead, and mainstream media continues to appear not to care.
I might be more willing to dismiss the post I just linked to as pure conspiracy, if not for the fact that the Military Times, who I can only presume is a) on the military's side and b) knows what they're talking about and c) wants to minimize any sort of story, rather than exacerbate it, hadn't originally reported that there were six nukes on board that plane. Check out the byline on this story published today - why is Michael Hoffman from The Military Times now saying 5 nukes? There are lots of blog posts floating around about this, and I'm no expert, but seriously --- where'd the other one go? Up until September 10, they were reporting 6. Even stranger chronology: apparently, The Military Times originally thought it was 5, then updated it to 6, and now it's back down to 5 again?

If we were talking about, say, the number of billions of dollars Halliburton embezzles per week in Iraq. Or whether the Rockets lost by 5 or 6 points in their last game. Or whether I had 5 or 6 hot dates in the next week. Any of those would be puzzling, but OK. But it matters to me, kind of a lot actually, if there is actually an unaccounted number of nuclear warheads that we lost and then found and then maybe lost again.

I read a few DOD briefings, just for fun. Interestingly, on Sept. 5 the press secretary for the Pentagon was asked about the "six nuclear warheads." In his answer, the press secretary refrained from using any numbers. After two questions, the issue was dropped. Probably for the best. It's not mentioned, that I can find, in any other briefings or press releases -- but rest assured, once we realized, four hours later, that the warheads were missing, someone woke up Robert Gates to let him know.

Can someone clear this up for me? What am I missing? Did 5 or 6 warheads originally leave North Dakota? If it was 6, and we still have 6, then not great but ok. But if 6 left, and 5 arrived, then where is the other one and why is no one asking questions?

OK. I feel like a conspiracy theorist, and need to stop googling "nuclear warheads" on a government computer before someone gets suspicious, so I'm going to go read poli-gossip blogs for a while.

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Interesting stuff

Lots of neat stuff today!


As always, HON is inadvertently ahead of the curve; most of you remember our insightful review retrospective of The Graduate from a few weeks back. The movie turned 40 yesterday! Everyone's "revisiting" the movie... just make sure to tell 'em you read it here first. Between that and On the Road turning 50, stuff's getting pretty old.

Russia's doing all kinds of crazy stuff to simultaneously save and destroy civilization. First, we have Russia testing the biggest non-nuclear explosive device in the world: an "air fuel bomb."

But while test ranges are getting bombed, other Russians are gettin' it on in honor of "Conception Day," also known as "If you have sex you don't have to work" day or give-birth-to-a-patriot-win-a-prize-day. Can you imagine what a state-condoned day of sex would look like here? Oh, maybe like Mardi Gras. Never mind.

Moving around the globe to my people, the Irish are proving once again that they can take our life, but they can never take our Guinness. In a rare show of bipartisanship, Ireland and the UK throw down with the EU in a battle to keep the pint as a unit of delicious, delicious measurement(oh, and the mile...and the Troy ounce...and something about bananas). I say, right on.

And, sadly, Alex the talking parrot, who we infantilized and anthropomorphisized to put an adorable face on animal testing, is dead at 31. I do, admittedly, like the fact he would scold the other parrots into talking better. Intellectual bird elitism...my favorite.

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Depressing end to the night

Mathgimp's been reading up on Japanese war crimes lately - something he may post about later, and in the meantime you can see his del.icio.us links to the right. When we were talking yesterday I made the (admittedly naive and overly idealistic) comment that I thought we were better as a human race now than we were 60 years ago. Even though articles that I've posted in the past, like this one, turn my stomach, I've been lulled into a false sense of complacency. Anyway, I thought I was wrong once I said it, and after reading this my comment is rescinded in its entirety.

There's still work to do.
Love
me

PS - I do have things to say about GMOs, and about my classes at MC, but they might have to keep for a few days.

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Do people have nothing else to worry about?

Dearest Bloggers,
I ask you, does the sight of a woman in a short skirt offend you to the point where you feel you can't be in the same vicinity as her? Well, supposedly the idiots that answered yes to that question were on a Southwest flight to Arizona a couple days ago. I want you to check out the link and tell me how on earth this is ok. This poor girl wants only an apology from the asshole airline... I say clean them out sister!!! http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/20638479/from/ET/

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Quesadillas: They're not just for breakfast anymore.

I know that all of you, good Texans (Marylandians?) that you are, know how to make a quesadilla. However, I leave you with the quesadilla recipe I used at my dinner party last week. I hope it will rekindle the quesadilla love in all of you. It was a hit, and its tastiness far overshadowed the main course of soft tacos.

MUSHROOM AND SPINACH QUESADILLAS:
Ingredients:
1. 1 unit of mushrooms (It doesn't matter how many mushrooms you use. If you really like mushrooms, get a lot. If you are lazy, get them already chopped and washed. Lazy bum.)
2. Half a bag of spinach
3. a block of monterey jack cheese
4. tortillas
5. olive oil

Put 2 tablespoons of olive oil in a pan, and toss in the chopped of mushrooms and torn up spinach (tip: it is easy to cook spinach when it is damp from the water you just rinsed it in). Toss this around for a while until the spinach wilts and the mushrooms are brown. yummm...

Take a tortilla and shred a bunch of cheese on it until it is deliciously cheesy. Nuke the tortillas for 20 seconds so the cheese is a bit melty (That's right; get off your high horse and use the damn microwave). Oil another pan, toss the cheesy tortilla on it, and then spread the spinach-mushroom combo all over it. Top it off with another tortilla, and turn it over when it starts to brown (probably 3 minutes a side). Heavenly tex-mex goodness.

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Can you sue the president?

We're watching the West Wing. Mathgimp (who would be referred to as "I" if nuraido wasn't posting this) stopped the episode for the past 20 minutes so we can Google whether the following claim is accurate: "It is unlawful for a citizen to sue a sitting president." Please, for the love of the Constitution, can someone answer this question so that we can resume mindless tv watching?

Love
HON

ps: mathgimp's contention is that there is nothing in the constitution itself that directly precludes a civil suit against the president. If there exists a SC decision saying it's precluded, that's different, and I'm still right. hahahahaha.

pps: nuraido doesn't actually care, hates law school, and just wants to watch TV and go to bed. hahahahahhaha.

West Wing claimed it, not I, says the turtle.

Update: nuraido needs to explain to me (mathgimp) how GM food will extinct humans. A couple of notes: I think GM food is likely to be risky, particularly considering the farming system and lack of oversight in the US. Extinction is, however, a very strong word. Second, she wanted this reminder in this post, so I'm not being a jerk. Really.

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My Week=Video Game

Nuraido mentioned to me that I've been absent from blogging and chatting. That'll all come back next week. This week I was moving into a new house and covering a game conference all week. For those of you not fortunate enough to work in the game industry, that means a lot of networking and panels followed by heavy, heavy drinking. More importantly, for me this week, it meant this. I spent Tuesday evening filling the drinking portion of the conference by touring Richard Garriott's two houses and watching marines shoot at aliens. Sometimes, life just works out for me.

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B.A. Zoo Double Plus Good

I must admit, I didn't have very high hopes for the zoo located 6 blocks from my house. I never really visited until today, after a failed gym session (not for lack of effort; the gym closes for four hours in the middle of Saturdays for a siesta). Once I set aside all of animal cruelty concerns (you really have to if you're going to visit any zoo), I quickly realized that the Buenos Aires zoological garden was the coolest zoo I had ever visited.

First of all, you know how in American zoos, squirrels and sometimes peacocks will wander around the premises. Well, you'll never guess what loving critters wander around this zoo freely, begging for food. Nutrias. That's right, Nutrias, from the Scientific Order Rodentia. The Smed panic scale immediately jumped to a red alert upon seeing these giant rat-looking creatures, and remained elevated at orange throughout the rest of my zoo visit. After all, I first became acquainted with nutria by seeing them swimming in ditches in southeast Texas. Terrifying.

But here, the nutria is a beloved creature. Children run up to them to pet them, and then the nutria dance a bit, begging for food and wagging their humongous rat tail. I could only stare at this scene and frantically look around me about every minute and a half looking for attacking nutria.

After I got used to the nutria, the rest of the zoo did not disappoint. Every animal is extremely active. It's not like US zoos, where you walk around looking at various animals taking naps. Oh no. I watched a lagoon of hippos for 20 minutes because they were literally leaping out of the water and throwing themselves onto each other as part of some hippopotamus frolicking game. There was even a baby hippo who would jump out of the water and nibble on his mother's (I assume) snout. Argentine hippos have so much more energy than US hippos. Either that or US hippos are kept drugged up and calm.

The rest of the animals were just as entertaining, but for a different reason. Basically, zoo patrons can feed almost any animal at the zoo. The zoo has placed grooved ramps between the safety fences and the animals so that people can roll pellets to the animals. But most people directly feed the animal or throw the feed into their mouth. Animals you were allowed to feed included elephants, zebras, camels, baboons, and a host of other strange animals.

The baboons would take turns sitting at the various feeding ramps and showing off in return for some food. The camel stood right at the fence with its mouth wide open. No, you couldn't feed the big cats, so instead they would put huge hunks of meat in their cages to keep them lively. And lively they were.

Reason #1093 to visit Buenos Aires: Crazy rule-free zoo where children cavort with nutria and laughingly feed howling monkeys.

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Shaping the future, take one

Today is my first day teaching at MC, and it's been fairly eventful.

Predictably, I overslept and underestimated the horror that is morning traffic, so I was frazzled and running crazy late. It took me over an hour to go the ten miles from my house to the parking garage. The faculty parking lot was a war zone. I actually had someone mouth "What...the....fuck!!!!" at me when I turned in (she wasn't actually in a lane) all slow motion-style, just like in the movies. And so I was 15 minutes late to class (awesome first impression). Then, the department chair neglected to leave the syllabus for the class for me as he promised, so I showed up, 15 minutes late, sweaty and frazzled, with no syllabus. What did I find when I arrived? All of my students (amazing - apparently they don't know about the 15 minute rule) and a locked classroom. Which I don't have a key to. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, my class was "that" class today. We've all been on the other side, watching the idiotic young professor who tries to make jokes to cover up for their incompetence. Today, that idiotic young professor was me.

So, that was a bust. I let them leave, and used the next hour to figure out how to fill an hour and 15 minutes without a syllabus, and the mysteries of unlocking the door. I accomplished both, and my second class was fantastic. I LOVE the kids. They're from all over the world, they don't have entitlement scrawled all over their faces like students at places I've taught in the past. They actually did what I asked them to do, and seemed to have fun doing it. They seem kind of excited to be in school. It made me remember that I do in fact like teaching. So, we'll see how tonight's class goes, but I'm jazzed about it.

The end.

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Could it be? Is it she?

That's right kids, I give in. I come to you in submission, bowing down to the blogging goddess who has so loving taken me into her dirty dirty grasp. Why have I resisted her temptations for so long you ask? Pure fear. Fear that I would become exactly what I am right now. A wart on the derriere of society, sitting at her desk, inhaling a box of wheat thins, avoiding the mundane work that she should be doing. So I surrender, since putting around on the computadora is clearly more fun than writing a cognitive evaluation.

So let's chat. How are you? Heard any good jokes lately? Ok, I suck at this. Who exactly am I blogging too? Is this some sort of online diary, and if so, why are people allowed to read it? This breaks the cardinal diary rule. I do not understand your twisted little world blog! I'm sorry, I don't mean to get testy, it's just that I have a so much to tell you yet I'm afraid of how you will react. Will you reject me blog, will you tell me I'm not good enough and that I write like a five year old, will you hate me if I don't know the headline of today's Washington Post (never mind, I do, Pavarotti died, that's actually pretty shitty).

Oh dearest blog, you and I, my sweet sweet friend, should take our relationship slow. I mean, really, do you expect to know all my deepest thoughts on our first encounter. Patience my sweet, patience, it will all come out eventually. A little taste you ask? Ok, here it goes... I have a weakness for peg legs, adult braces, crazy looking professors, and tofu. My big plans include ridding the world of carrots because they are disgusting, adopting a Mongolian yak because their milk is liquid gold, and moving my crew to Vancouver where nerds like us roam free. Are you satisfied blog? Oh blog, I think you and I have a whole future of love and admiration ahead of us. Get excited, cuz mama's home!

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What can I say?

As burned out as I am on Iraq right now, Keith Olbermann, my future husband, still gets me all shivery when he gets all indignant and starts yelling at Bush. If you didn't see Olbermann's Special Comment on Countdown last night, you should watch it here.
He's brilliant, and he's right.

In case there's any doubt left that the surge is a terrible idea, you should read Hilary Hilzoy's post on Andrew Sullivan's blog here.
The analysis is smart and, as far as I can tell, goes unrefuted by anyone in the Bush administration.

Finally, there's this story in Salon today about Jamie Dean. Jamie was in the Army, came back from Afghanistan with PTSD, was receiving treatment for the disability through the VA and had applied for disability status, and was recalled. He went a little nuts, the Maryland cops lost their shit, and they shot and killed him. It's incredibly sad.

Moral of the story? Bush is a lying coward with purely political motivations for prolonging this conflict. On a strategic level, none of this is working, and more people will just continue to die as we make things worse. In the mean time, the troops that are injured in the unending war don't get the help they need, and inefficient bureaucracy means that they needlessly die. Awesome.

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Happy Birthday!!!

Jack Kerouac's On the Road turns 50 today. Despite the cliche, I still think this is one of the finest passages in American literature.

They danced down the streets like dingledodies, and I shambled after as I've been doing all my life after people who interest me, because the only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones that never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes "Awww!"

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Weekend exploits

It has been an eventful couple of days around the House of Nerds. Below the jump are the highlights.

As of Thursday, Tommy had been in town for almost a week, and things had been relatively low key. A few tense Risk games, a lot of intensive LSAT studying, some chillin' on the porch, and that's about it. Thursday night, mathgimp left for the Houston wedding, and the insanity began.

David was Chinatown bussin' it down from NYC on Thursday after class. Sadly, his bus left about 45 minutes late, putting him in DC 20 minutes after the metro stopped running. So my brother, who's always thinking, suggested that David ask the bus driver to pull over and drop him off at the College Park exit. David being David, and the Chinatown bus being the Chinatown bus, he was left on the side of 295 for us to come collect. A little odd, but saved us about an hour and a half of our lives.

Friday night, Shween flew in after her insane week of interviews, and we proceeded to live it up at Solly's on U Street. Shween now refers to herself, and will be referred to by us, as Ol' Girl. As in "Ol' Girl knows. She's been around the block. She's seen all there is to see." Allow your imaginations to roam freely, gentlemen. It was nice to be reunited for the first time since Tommy's graduation, and good times were had by all.

While all of this was occurring, mathgimp found himself in the unlikeliest of spots: planning an entire wedding in 24 hours. I hear he's for hire, if you're interested...but that post is his to write if he'd like.

On Saturday, we weren't feeling so hot, but we had accidentally announced that we were hosting a BBQ, so there was planning to be done. Tons of people showed up, we all ate incredible amounts of food, and it was actually a ton of fun. We narrowly escaped the long arm of the law, who apparently get cranky when people who may or may not be associated with my house set of fireworks at 2 am. Hmmm.

Sunday was beautiful, so we headed into Old Town Alexandria for brunch and to walk along the shore. Rhonda and I now have the goal of dining at every restaurant along King Street, and you're all invited. We dropped Shween off at the airport, and decided to lay low Sunday evening. Mathgimp came home, rejoicing was had.

Yesterday was the last day of David and Tommy's visit, so we figured we'd deviate from the previous patterns of only eating a lot and then drinking a lot and instead go for a hike at Great Falls. It was to be our undoing, because as we were turning into the parking lot, I got rear ended. The right side of my car is a bit banged up, but other than a few aches and a little stiffness we're all fine. We sat in the damn parking lot for 3 hours, using 5 cell phones (Mathgimp and Rhonda were helping us out remotely), and managed to accomplish absolutely nothing. The police officer refused to assign liability for the accident to the woman that hit me. After being on the phone with my insurance company for an hour and fifteen minutes, I actually said the following: "Ronald. I am frustrated and disappointed with you, and with this organization. I pay you to advocate for me, Ronald. You're not being my advocate. I need you to give me information I need to make decisions, and you're not doing that, Ronald." Well, by said I kind of mean yelled.

The only thing actually accomplished in that three hours is that mathgimp successfully ordered us Chinese food and wine, which arrived about 45 seconds after we got home. The moral of the story? Don't try to do things when you can instead eat and drink at home.

This morning I went to sleep at 2:30 am, drove Tommy to the airport at 5:15 am, ate breakfast with David, and then stumbled to work.

It was an adventure filled weekend, but I'm pretty worn out. And I need a massage for my aching muscles.

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Spring has sprung!

It appears that winter is out and spring is here in B.A. I wore a winter coat yesterday and a t-shirt today. Highs in the 60s all this week. Things are really going to start getting good here...especially since Pete and I decided, spur of the moment, to split a plane ticket for him to come visit me in less than two weeks. Wahoo!

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Turtle on the ankle

Here's the new tattoo.

I think it's pretty hot. Tommy, though, says I can't tell new people why I got it - he says the story "keeps friends, not makes friends." Benjamin says that the turtle is fine and all, but I should have picked either the Celtic knot or a cute, adorable little turtle and gone with one or the other. I wish both of my brothers had decided to express those views before I modified by body forever, but I actually don't care, cause I love it. Yay, turtles!

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I am an American

Some of you might be worried that I am losing my American sense of identity here in Buenos Aires. At first, I feared the same; for instance, I started calling myself a "Northamerican" (That's what we're called here - BLASPHEMY). However, the events from Thursday and Friday indicate that in my heart, I remain an All-American girl.

It was the birthday of one of my new friends, Felix, and in his honor we decided to have a birthday party. I invited every exchange student at our university and asked them to bring libations. And voila, that night we had a genuine college-throw back "rager." OK, so it wasn't completely a Northamerican party - there was more Spanish than English, and we played reggaeton instead of...ummm...whatever young people in the US play at ragers. However, I must say, it was a pretty rocking party, complete with a birthday cake and a rendition of "Happy Birthday" (In English, dammit).

But the following day is the particularly patriotic portion of this post. Victor and I woke up, not feeling particularly well. We decided we needed some AMERICAN food; I was a bit tired of empanadas. After some internet research, I realized that not many American chains have reached South America (yes, yes I realize that is a good thing). But guess what - TGIFridays has made its way down to Buenos Aires. I put on my burnt orange Texas hoodie and a baseball cap. Victor didn't look much better (sorry, V). We made our way to the mall, ate some fried food at TGIF (and yes, the waitresses have the flare here as well). It tasted terrible, but at that moment, I was so proud to be an American. And I also increased my vocabulary: "Estoy de rezaca." (I have a hangover.)

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